Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Kids Who Are Read Aloud to Are as Rich as Rich Can Be
DEAR ABBY: I am a parent and teacher, presently writing my term paper for a graduate degree. My subject is the effects of reading aloud to children. In my research, I found that in 1983 you recommended "The Read Aloud Handbook" by Jim Trelease, published by Penguin.
Abby, please tell your readers about "The New Read Aloud Handbook" by the same author and publisher. It contains updated lists of books to be read to children as well as research material confirming that reading aloud to children improves their vocabularies, awakens their imaginations and coaxes them away from the television.
But best of all, it instills in children the joy of reading. -- REBECCA MEHL-WHITE, HORNICK, IOWA
DEAR REBECCA: Thanks for the wake-up call. I confess I was unaware that Jim Trelease had written a new, updated "Read Aloud Handbook." His first book sold more than 1.5 million copies and richly deserved the acclaim it achieved in the United States, Canada, Great Britain, Japan and Australia. Parents and teachers wrote to thank me for recommending it.
I immediately bought "The New Read Aloud Handbook" and found it well worth the $9.95 I paid. If it isn't in every bookstore and public library in the country, it should be.
It was in "The Read Aloud Handbook" that I found the beautiful poem "The Reading Mother" by Strickland Gillilan from which I quoted the following:
"You may have tangible wealth untold;
"Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
"Richer than I you can never be --
"I had a mother who read to me."
DEAR ABBY: In our area, we have a young, growing family with children. The wife's mother lived with this family until she passed away nearly two years ago. The wife -- I'll call her Mrs. J. -- has kept the room her mother slept in exactly like it was while she lived there. Her clothes and shoes are in the closet and dresser drawers. All that is ever done to this room is the cleaning.
The growing family could make good use of this room, yet Mrs. J. insists that it remain just as it was when it was last occupied.
Abby, is Mrs. J. all there, or is there something wrong upstairs? -- BAFFLED AND CURIOUS
DEAR B. AND C.: Obviously, it gives a measure of comfort to keep the room once occupied by her mother exactly as it was while her mother was alive. If Mrs. J. wants to make a shrine of that room, whom is she hurting?
DEAR ABBY: When my sweet little Fluffy, an 8-year-old Pekinese-Shih Tzu, died last week from ingesting a small amount of antifreeze that was left on our driveway, I had to write to warn others. Abby, my husband had been working on vehicles in our driveway for years, and it never occurred to either one of us that the driveway should be hosed down thoroughly to remove every trace of antifreeze for the safety of our pets.
Unfortunately, it's too late for our Fluffy, but it would mean the world to me if you would print this to warn others. -- HEARTBROKEN IN LAKEWOOD, N.J.
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Here's your letter ... in loving memory of Fluffy.
UNWANTED CATALOGS THREATEN TO SWAMP READER'S MAILBOX
DEAR ABBY: About a year and a half ago, I moved to a retirement facility in Oregon. Ever since, I have been swamped with mail-order catalogs (unsolicited) to the point that when the mail is delivered each day, there are more catalogs delivered than my mailbox can hold!
In the past you have, from time to time, printed an address to which one could write in order to put a stop to this nuisance. Would you please print it again? I am ... KNEE-DEEP IN JUNK MAIL
DEAR KNEE-DEEP: Not only do some catalog companies make money by selling their merchandise; they also make a bundle by selling their customer lists to one another. Therefore, once you order anything by catalog you may find yourself on many other mailing lists, and the recipient of many unwanted solicitations.
If you shop at home but want to lessen the unsolicited advertising mail you receive, simply ask the companies with which you do business not to rent your name to other mailers.
Your other option, the Mail Preference Service, screens out the national advertising mail and should be used by consumers who do not want to receive such solicitations. To have your name deleted from these lists, write to: Mail Preference Service, Direct Marketing Association Inc., P.O. Box 3861, New York, N.Y. 10163-3861. There is no charge for this service.
DEAR ABBY: I thought I'd share with you a very poignant letter that appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle recently. Perhaps you will want to share it with your readers. -- S.K. IN HAYWARD, CALIF.
DEAR S.K.: I think it is well worth sharing with my readers. It appeared in the "Letters to the Editor" section, and here it is:
LOOKlNG FOR A PARADE
Can I march in your parade, too? I came back from World War II after being in five battles, and I don't remember any ticker tape.
We were near Japan on VJ Day and didn't get to participate, unlike some of the lucky National Guardsmen in the latest short war.
In 1945, we were so jumpy from kamikaze attacks that we had a general quarters alarm after the Japanese surrendered. It was very remote from the joyful madness I saw displayed in pictures of Market Street.
Our ship's company had not seen civilization in over a year, and it was another eight months before I was mustered out.
Can I be in your parade now? -- ROBERT L. HEATON, LAFAYETTE, CALIF.
CONFIDENTIAL TO G.H. IN OTTAWA, CANADA: "The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is." (George Bernard Shaw) You, sir, are a very respectable man.
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Passing Motorist Throws Out More Than Baby's Bathwater
DEAR ABBY: Your recent column on litterbugs brought back a vivid memory that illustrates how expensive being a litterbug can be.
We live in a very nice neighborhood in Portland, Ore. We have a beautiful yard with many hedges and bushes. One day, a passing motorist tossed a disposable diaper from his car. As he flung it out the window, it caught on his gold watchband, sending the watch flying along with the diaper!
Of course, we picked up both pieces of litter, disposed of one, repaired the other, and my husband wore that beautiful gold watch for 12 years before he replaced it. That happened 20 years ago, and to this day I still don't mind picking up litter. You never know what you'll find! -- MARION IN OREGON
DEAR MARION: My, how time flies! (Sorry, I couldn't resist it.) And speaking of disposing of litter by tossing it out the car window, read on:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were driving down a country road when a car passed us and a person on the passenger side tossed a lighted cigarette out the window. The cigarette landed on the back of a pickup truck carrying a load of hay! A small fire started. The driver, who was directly in front of us, was unaware of the fire, so we sounded our horn and kept at it until we caught up with him and motioned for him to stop, which fortunately he was able to do.
I shudder to think what could have happened had his gas tank exploded. -- CLOSE CALL IN WISCONSIN
DEAR ABBY: A very dear friend from Los Angeles came to visit me in San Diego over her spring break. (She lives in L.A. with her parents.) Both of us are relatively young (22) and struggling for our financial independence. We had a great time during her stay here.
However, she did something that really bothered me, and I don't know how to handle it. She kept calling her boyfriend in Los Angeles -- at least twice a day -- and she also accepted collect calls from him without my knowledge or consent.
After one of his "collect" calls, I told her I was on a tight budget and couldn't afford a large phone bill, but she made another call as if I had said nothing to her.
Now I am reluctant to have her over any more due to the fact that she has no consideration for my feelings or my pocketbook.
When and how should I let her know how I feel about this? -- UNCERTAIN
DEAR UNCERTAIN: Send your "very dear friend" a copy of your telephone bill with her calls plainly encircled with a note: "I know you would want to pay for your calls."
And in the future, do not welcome anyone into your home who has no consideration for your feelings or your pocketbook.
Dear Abby's Cookbooklet is a collection of favorite recipes -- all tested, tried and terrific! To order, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)