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by Abigail Van Buren

Passing Motorist Throws Out More Than Baby's Bathwater

DEAR ABBY: A very dear friend from Los Angeles came to visit me in San Diego over her spring break. (She lives in L.A. with her parents.) Both of us are relatively young (22) and struggling for our financial independence. We had a great time during her stay here.

However, she did something that really bothered me, and I don't know how to handle it. She kept calling her boyfriend in Los Angeles -- at least twice a day -- and she also accepted collect calls from him without my knowledge or consent.

After one of his "collect" calls, I told her I was on a tight budget and couldn't afford a large phone bill, but she made another call as if I had said nothing to her.

Now I am reluctant to have her over any more due to the fact that she has no consideration for my feelings or my pocketbook.

When and how should I let her know how I feel about this? -- UNCERTAIN

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Send your "very dear friend" a copy of your telephone bill with her calls plainly encircled with a note: "I know you would want to pay for your calls."

And in the future, do not welcome anyone into your home who has no consideration for your feelings or your pocketbook.