By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054 (Postage is included.)
Woman's Ire Focused on Men Who Can't See Past Glasses
DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old, reasonably attractive woman. I dress stylishly and wear subtle makeup. I am very nearsighted and wear glasses because I can't tolerate hard or soft contact lenses. (Believe me, I have tried.)
Abby, it infuriates me when men (whether they are dates or not), casual acquaintances or co-workers think I should feel complimented when they say, "You'd be much prettier without your glasses."
I am sometimes tempted to say, "And you'd be even more handsome with a little more hair on your head -- or less padding around your middle." Or, "You'd be a much nicer person if you had better manners!"
Abby, please tell these oafs to look in a mirror before they start giving women fashion advice. Thanks. -- FOUR EYES AND WELL-ADJUSTED
DEAR WELL-ADJUSTED: Resist that old saw, "The best defense is a good offense."
Heed the wise words of author Letty Cottin Pogrebin: "Men who never make passes at women with glasses are asses."
Also consider the advantage for those who wear glasses: In a romantic situation, when the glasses are removed, it's a clear signal that someone is going to get kissed!
DEAR ABBY: Until late last fall, I was a registered voter in Clackamas County, Oregon. After you urged people to vote, I decided to re-register after changing my address to the local jail where I am being held pending trial, since address changes need to be recorded per Oregon law.
The response I received was a note attached to a photocopy that stated, "I am unable to process your registration until you have completed your sentence." It was attached to a copy of a citation of Oregon law that, in effect, stated that a person with a felony conviction loses the right to vote during the term of imprisonment.
As "Illinois Voter" stated (in your column), "If each community made it easier to vote, more people would vote."
It took letters to the Elections Division, assistant county attorney and Clackamas County Clerk, as well as secretary of state and then-Gov.-Elect Barbara Roberts -- but I continue to be a registered voter as of Dec. 17, 1991, as the laws of the state and the nation provide.
Civil rights for all! What do you say, Abby? -- NO. 90-2310
DEAR "90": Convicted felons are denied the right to vote, but one is presumed innocent until proven guilty.
YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE AIDS CAN BE PASSED THROUGH SEX
DEAR ABBY: Recently you ran a letter from "Helen in K.C" that raised the issue of whether or not to include AIDS as the cause of death in an obituary. One statement in that letter concerned me deeply, so I hope you will print this in order to correct the misinformation.
The sentence: "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is a venereal disease -- which it is not."
Abby, I am the manager of the AIDS Education Project at California State University, Sacramento. Please advise your readers that AIDS IS a sexually transmitted disease (the term "venereal disease" was phased out several years ago).
AIDS can be transmitted through an infected person by one of three ways: 1) sex (without protection), including penis to vagina, penis to mouth, penis to rectum, mouth to vagina, mouth to rectum, or sharing sex toys; 2) direct blood-to-blood contact, including sharing hypodermic needles, tattoo equipment, sex toys or razor blades; 3) infected mothers may pass the virus to their unborn babies during pregnancy, delivery or through breast feeding.
People who believe that AIDS cannot be transmitted through sex are operating without clear and accurate information. AIDS is a non-discriminatory, equal-opportunity sexually transmitted disease. -- SUSAN FELDMAN, CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, SACRAMENTO
DEAR MS. FELDMAN: The sentence that concerns you concerns me even more because a crucial word was inadvertently omitted. The sentence, "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is a venereal disease -- which it is not," should have read: "Due to ignorance, many people think AIDS is exclusively a sexually transmitted disease-- which it is not."
DEAR ABBY: We are 28 third-graders at Sumter Christian School in Sumter, S.C. Sometimes Mrs. Tomlinson reads the class stuff out of your column. You said a lady wanted to name her baby after you but her husband wouldn't let her.
We think Abby is a beautiful name. We have 50 eggs in an incubator in our classroom. They will hatch out to be cute little baby chicks on May 10 and we will name one of our baby chicks Abby after you if that is OK with you.
Could you please send us your picture that you have signed? We will put it on the wall next to the one Mrs. Bush sent us. Write soon, as we are out of school May 31. Thank you and goodbye. Sign this ... MRS. TOMLINSON'S THIRD-GRADERS
DEAR THIRD-GRADERS AND MRS. TOMLINSON: I would be honored to have one of your baby chicks named after me. My picture (signed) is on its way.
What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
PARENTS' RELUCTANCE TO DISCUSS SEX DISTURBS THIS CANDID MOM
DEAR ABBY: I hope that by printing this letter it will make other parents do some serious thinking about their relationships with their teens.
My neighbor's 17-year-old daughter and the daughter's 16-year-old girlfriend spent two hours talking to me about boys and sex. The 17-year-old is thinking about having sex with her boyfriend. While I certainly did not encourage it, I did talk openly about safe-sex practices and birth control. I also explained why it would be better if she waited until she is older and more mature.
What bothers me the most is, why aren't these girls talking to their own mothers? The girls are friends of my teen-aged sons -- that is how they know me.
Abby, it isn't my place to talk to them about these things, but since I'm the only one they trust, I won't betray them. My sons and I are very open with each other, and we discuss everything they have on their minds.
I wish more parents would listen to their kids -- even if what the kids say may shock and dismay them. Parents shouldn't judge -- they should just be there for their children. -- SOMEBODY ELSE'S MOM
DEAR MOM: The neighbors' kids are talking to you because they are not comfortable talking to their own moms (or dads). How lucky for them that you are there for them.
Unfortunately, not all parents are comfortable talking to their teens about safe-sex practices and birth control. Some may even resent the fact that their children are getting information from a neighbor (you) that they, their own parents, would be reluctant to give them.
I say, if kids ask -- they are old enough to know. What our children don't know can hurt them.
DEAR ABBY: I am writing to you for advice about a dilemma that I never thought would happen to me.
Several months ago, I asked a girl to attend the high school prom with me. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either. A couple of weeks later, I asked her again, and she was very evasive. Tired of her games, I asked another girl and she said yes right away. When the first girl found out that I had asked someone else to the prom, she became moody and distant. Then I found out through the grapevine that she had bought a prom dress on the assumption that she was going with me.
I have no sympathy for her. Her indefinite replies left me second-guessing, so I asked somebody else. Now several people seem to think that I am at fault. The way I see it, since I asked her twice without getting a definite response, I think I should be allowed to ask somebody else. Am I right? -- SELF-DEFENSE
DEAR SELF-DEFENSE: You are absolutely right, beyond a shadow of a doubt!
Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)