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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: In reference to "Missing Out in L.A.," the 39-year-old man who had only sex partners who were extremely flat-chested and was wondering if visiting a nudist camp to "get an eyeful" of large-breasted women would satisfy his curiosity: Your response to this gentleman was right on target: "Nudist resorts are not peep shows!"

The men, women and children who enjoy the "naturalist" lifestyle are not exhibitionists. Anyone who goes to a nudist resort to "get an eyeful" will get an eyeful of the exit in a hurry. All nudist resorts have rules that prohibit gawking, staring or any other unacceptable behavior. This includes any sexual activity.

Nudists are people who feel that being unclothed is natural and not dirty or shameful. Small children are born nudists. Anyone who has been around small children has seen them pull off their clothes just to be rid of the uncomfortable nuisance.

I am 38 and discovered the nudist lifestyle last summer. Never in my life have I felt anything that feels so good and natural. My girlfriend, who was apprehensive at first, finally went with me. Now, together we enjoy our place in the sun. I wish I had found this lifestyle sooner. Please don't misunderstand. This lifestyle is not for everyone. I myself cannot eat sushi. "Live and let live" and "To each his own."

Another solution for "Missing Out in L.A." would be either to go to a topless bar or hire a strip-o-gram. This will allow him to see what he wants to see without offending anyone.

Thank you for steering that gentleman toward another solution, and allowing me to dispel some misconceptions about the nudist lifestyle.

Abby, you may use this letter and edit it as you see fit. I'm enclosing my name, address and phone number if you wish to contact me for any reason, but please do not publish it. Sign this ... "NATURAL IN COLORADO"

DEAR ABBY: A while back, you had a letter in your column about a girl who got an engagement ring that looked like a big diamond, but it was an imitation (cubic zirconia) which she was proudly showing around to all her friends and relatives, thinking it was real.

I guess she fooled some of the people some of the time, but it could have caused her a lot of embarrassment.

I have a different problem concerning my diamond engagement ring. My boyfriend told me that his father got it at a very good price because it was "hot" -- stolen.

I love my fiance very much, but I do not feel comfortable wearing this ring, knowing its history. I do not want to appear ungrateful, and I don't want to insult my boyfriend -- or his father -- but every time someone compliments me on my ring, I want to crawl into a hole and hide.

What should I do? -- ASHAMED IN BUFFALO

DEAR ASHAMED: Be honest with your fiance. Tell him you can't enjoy wearing that ring, knowing its history. Better to have a modest diamond -- or none at all -- than a "hot" rock.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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