To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Man Feels Born Anew When He Strips to His Birthday Suit
DEAR ABBY: In reference to "Missing Out in L.A.," the 39-year-old man who had only sex partners who were extremely flat-chested and was wondering if visiting a nudist camp to "get an eyeful" of large-breasted women would satisfy his curiosity: Your response to this gentleman was right on target: "Nudist resorts are not peep shows!"
The men, women and children who enjoy the "naturalist" lifestyle are not exhibitionists. Anyone who goes to a nudist resort to "get an eyeful" will get an eyeful of the exit in a hurry. All nudist resorts have rules that prohibit gawking, staring or any other unacceptable behavior. This includes any sexual activity.
Nudists are people who feel that being unclothed is natural and not dirty or shameful. Small children are born nudists. Anyone who has been around small children has seen them pull off their clothes just to be rid of the uncomfortable nuisance.
I am 38 and discovered the nudist lifestyle last summer. Never in my life have I felt anything that feels so good and natural. My girlfriend, who was apprehensive at first, finally went with me. Now, together we enjoy our place in the sun. I wish I had found this lifestyle sooner. Please don't misunderstand. This lifestyle is not for everyone. I myself cannot eat sushi. "Live and let live" and "To each his own."
Another solution for "Missing Out in L.A." would be either to go to a topless bar or hire a strip-o-gram. This will allow him to see what he wants to see without offending anyone.
Thank you for steering that gentleman toward another solution, and allowing me to dispel some misconceptions about the nudist lifestyle.
Abby, you may use this letter and edit it as you see fit. I'm enclosing my name, address and phone number if you wish to contact me for any reason, but please do not publish it. Sign this ... "NATURAL IN COLORADO"
DEAR ABBY: A while back, you had a letter in your column about a girl who got an engagement ring that looked like a big diamond, but it was an imitation (cubic zirconia) which she was proudly showing around to all her friends and relatives, thinking it was real.
I guess she fooled some of the people some of the time, but it could have caused her a lot of embarrassment.
I have a different problem concerning my diamond engagement ring. My boyfriend told me that his father got it at a very good price because it was "hot" -- stolen.
I love my fiance very much, but I do not feel comfortable wearing this ring, knowing its history. I do not want to appear ungrateful, and I don't want to insult my boyfriend -- or his father -- but every time someone compliments me on my ring, I want to crawl into a hole and hide.
What should I do? -- ASHAMED IN BUFFALO
DEAR ASHAMED: Be honest with your fiance. Tell him you can't enjoy wearing that ring, knowing its history. Better to have a modest diamond -- or none at all -- than a "hot" rock.
LINES DRAWN AT KENT STATE STILL DIVIDE PEOPLE TODAY
DEAR ABBY: You recently published several letters on the Kent State killings that reflected your readers' prejudices, not the facts as determined by the official investigative bodies, particularly the President's Commission on Campus Unrest. Some of the myths your readers cling to cannot be adequately addressed in a short column, but I would, at least, like to set the record straight on a few points:
1. The anti-Vietnam War rally that the National Guard broke up at Kent State was peaceful until the Guard made what the President's Commission called a "highly questionable" decision to disperse the crowd. The President's Commission concluded: "There was no apparent impending violence. Only when the Guard attempted to disperse the rally did some students react violently."
2. Though the Guardsmen were subsequently subjected to some abuse, including some rock throwing, the notion that the Guardsmen had to fire because their lives were endangered by an uncontrollable mob was also disputed by every official investigation. The Justice Department concluded the shootings were "neither necessary nor proper." Similarly, the President's Commission concluded the killings were "unnecessary, unwarranted and inexcusable."
3. The students who were killed were not the same students who were responsible for the burning of the university's Army ROTC building or any other act of violence which occurred in the city of Kent the weekend before May 4, 1970.
4. On May 4, two of the four students who were killed had participated in the demonstration and may have at some point thrown rocks at the soldiers. The other two (an ROTC student and a coed carrying books to class) were strictly bystanders. The Justice Department concluded that because all four fatalities were located more than 300 feet from the firing soldiers, none were "in a position to pose even a remote danger to the National Guard at the time of the firing." -- WILLIAM A. GORDON, AUTHOR, "THE FOURTH OF MAY: KILLINGS AND COVER-UPS AT KENT STATE" (PROMETHEUS BOOKS, 1990)
DEAR MR. GORDON: Thank you for setting the record straight. I bought -- and read -- your book, a fascinating as well as factual account of what really took place at Kent State.
DEAR ABBY: Could you please give me some advice on how to make restitution of a large sum of money and still remain anonymous?
I can't send a personal check or walk into my local 7-Eleven store with $4,000 and ask for a money order. And I certainly don't want to send cash anonymously through the mail.
Many years ago, I was reimbursed for a medical insurance claim that I had no right to. My conscience has bothered me for a long time, and I can't seem to come up with a workable solution. I am also uncertain about whom to send the money to. I thought perhaps if I addressed my letter to the president of the insurance company, it would eventually get into the right hands, but I don't want to tempt some other employee by sending some form of payment as good as cash. Any ideas? -- GUILTY CONSCIENCE
DEAR GUILTY: I agree that sending cash through the mail would be unwise, but since you do not wish to be identified, advise your attorney to send the insurance company $4,000 with a cover letter to the president -- explaining that it is from "a repentant client who wishes to remain anonymous."
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Magic Johnson Sets Standard for National Response to Aids
DEAR READERS: Since the day Magic Johnson stepped to the microphone and calmly announced that he tested positive for the AIDS virus, we have been hearing a great deal about AIDS.
It is no longer "a gay disease," and as Johnson said, "If it could happen to me -- it can happen to anybody."
Please read what Anna Quindlen, the brilliant New York Times columnist, had to say about the subject:
"In the 10 years since five gay men with pneumonia became a million people who are HIV-positive, this illness has brought out the worst in America.
"Last year we witnessed the canonization of one AIDS patient, a 23-year-old woman named Kimberly Bergalis, who says she 'didn't do anything wrong.' She is a lovely white woman with no sexual history who contracted AIDS from her dentist. She is what some people like to call 'an innocent victim.'
"With that single adjective we condemn those who get AIDS from sex and those who get it from dirty needles as guilty, and ultimately unworthy of our help and sympathy. We imply that gay men get what they deserve, and people who shoot up may as well be dead. It's a little like being sympathetic to the health-conscious jogger who dies of a heart attack during a stint on the Stairmaster, but telling the widow of the couch potato, 'Well, if he hadn't eaten all those hot dogs, this wouldn't have happened.'
"How are all those parents who denigrate 'queers' and 'junkies' going to explain what happened to Magic Johnson? How are all those pious people who like to talk about 'innocent victims' going to deal with the lovable basketball star, the all-time sports hero, who stressed safe sex when he told the world he was HIV-positive? Will this finally make them say to their kids, 'It could happen to you,' and make them stop relying solely on chastity and start dealing with reality?
"Magic Johnson, with that engaging personality, that athletic legerdemain, that grin -- this is what AIDS looks like. Why can't we learn to deal with our national tragedy with as much dignity and determination as this good man brings to his personal one?"
DEAR ABBY: I am hoping you can help with a research project we are doing at school. Almost all watch advertisements have their watches set at 10:10. (Digital as well as standard watches.)
I was told years ago that this was to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima, as it was at this exact time. Well, that theory is false. Hiroshima was bombed at 8:15 a.m.
Can you or anyone else answer this question for us? Thank you! -- G. TAYLOR AND THE FOURTH-GRADE CLASS, TRAFTON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, ARLINGTON, WASH.
DEAR G. TAYLOR AND THE FOURTH-GRADE CLASS: According to the Association of Watch and Clock Collectors (Columbia, Pa.), the clock industry has been using that setting since the 1850s to illustrate sales catalogs. Their spokesperson said it is not true that the clocks are set to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima -- or the time that President Lincoln was supposed to have been shot, either.
Watches and clocks are set at 10:10, and sometimes 1:50, because it looks good and presents a balanced face that is easy to read.
WORTH CLIPPING (from Forbes magazine): "How do you know when you're old? When you double your current age and realize you're not going to live that long." -- Michael L. Leyden II
What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)