DEAR ABBY: This letter is for the Schmucks of Ormand Beach, Fla.
I am in my 60s, and all my life my parents called me a "schmuck" when I did something foolish. And when my own children didn't behave, I would say, "Don't be a schmuck!"
Last October, we went to Germany to visit some relatives. I saw a building there with a sign that said "SCHMUCKS" so I asked my cousin what it meant, and she said "jewels." Imagine my surprise! All this time, I had been calling my children "jewels" when I really had something else in mind.
I am signing my real name, which I am told means "dam" in German. You can probably guess the fun the Germans had with that name! -- MILLIE WEIR IN ANAHEIM, CALIF.