Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
It's Time Again to Remember Servicemen Here and Abroad
DEAR ABBY: It is again time for the Operation Dear Abby/America Remembers Campaign and the great work it does for our servicemen and women stationed overseas -- and, for the first time, here at home.
From my years of experience as a Navy fighter pilot, I know the importance of the Operation Dear Abby/America Remembers Campaigns. A supportive card or letter to a young man or woman serving our nation can make all the difference in the world.
Operation Dear Abby/America Remembers played a major role during Operation Desert Storm, and we need to keep the momentum going with the America Remembers "Adopt a Unit" program.
For years, schools, groups and communities have been able to "adopt" U.S. military units stationed overseas. Now, for the first time ever, thanks to the Armed Services YMCA, local units in the United States can be "adopted." (Not all the troops stationed here in the United States get to go home for the holidays!)
School groups and communities can "adopt" a ship or unit for the holidays by sending a stamped, self-addressed business-sized envelope (No. 10 envelope) to: Operation Dear Abby/America Remembers, c/o Taco Bell Corp., 17901 Von Karmen, Irvine, Calif. 92714.
Each group will receive a newsletter and other materials on the unit it "adopts." Once again, dozens of volunteers from Taco Bell will process the incoming material.
As the first honorary national chairman of the America Remembers Campaign, I want to say "well done" to America Remembers, Taco Bell, and to you and your readers. -- RANDY "DUKE" CUNNINGHAM, HONORARY NATIONAL CHAIRMAN, 1991 AMERICA REMEMBERS CAMPAIGN
DEAR ABBY: I am getting married soon, and I have my bridal party already picked out, but I have a slight problem. I would like to change my maid of honor because we are no longer as close friends as we used to be.
I am wondering how I should go about telling her I have changed my mind without hurting her feelings. -- CHANGED MY MIND
DEAR CHANGED: How long ago did you ask her to be your maid of honor? If it was a childhood promise made several years ago and you have since drifted apart, she may be relieved to be replaced. Discuss it with her.
However, if you asked her recently, there is no way to tell her you no longer want her to be your maid of honor without hurting her feelings.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 79-year-old woman living at the California State Veterans Home in the beautiful Napa Valley.
One of the first questions I'm asked when I tell people that I live at the Veterans Home is: "Oh, was your husband a veteran?"
Abby, I proudly served as a master sergeant in the U.S. Army during World War II and in the Korean conflict. When will people learn that women are veterans, too?
Abby, perhaps if you publish this, it will serve to remind millions of people that there are women veterans, too. -- MARTHA L. WALKER, YOUNTVILLE, CALIF.
DEAR MARTHA: Consider it done.
Story of Dog's Bee Stings Sets Readers to Buzzing
DEAR ABBY: Please don't steer any more business to those bleepity-bleepin' lawyers. The lady whose dog got multiple bee stings should have had her dog fenced in -- or on a leash. He was obviously in bee territory -- not vice versa. -- TREVA ANDREA, POQUOSON, VA.
DEAR TREVA: Since that letter appeared in my column, I learned more about bees than I bargained for. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Did that woman get the license number of that bee? Or did she read its identification tag on its collar?
Bees are either directly or indirectly responsible for the pollination of two-thirds of all the food we eat. Alfalfa and many grains that feed our livestock are immensely dependent on bee pollination. The bee-keeping industry is already suffering from below-profit honey prices and the overuse of pesticides. In the next few years, the Africanized (killer) bees will reach our temperate climate, causing even greater mass hysteria among our citizens. -- OLIVER D. FRANK, SAN MATEO, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: I can sympathize with the reader whose puppy was stung. It happened to our puppy a second time, and I thought she would die! She's 9 years old now and has learned not to snap at anything that buzzes.
Did that woman see the insect that stung her dog? Was it a wasp, bumblebee, hornet or yellow jacket? And if she could identify the insect as a honeybee, can she prove it came from the hive next door? -- JEAN MEAD, WINFIELD, W.VA.
DEAR ABBY: You were right about one thing -- the honeybee stings only once and dies. Proving that the bee came from the neighbor's beehive is another thing. There are more wild bees in tree hollows and people's backyards than there are in all the commercial or controlled hives put together. -- CARL E. LOWMAN, COLUMBIA, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: In case you have forgotten, back in April 1988 you ran the following in your column:
DEAR ABBY: If you're not too tired of the bee issue, here's a little poem for you:
"The sex of a bee is hard to see
"But he can tell, and so can she.
"The queen is quite a busy soul
"She has no time for birth control.
"And that is why, in times like these,
"There are so many sons of bees." -- (Submitted, but not originated, by) JIM HARVEL, ARIZONA BEEKEEPER
P.S. Abby, this poem has been around for a long time, but I doubt if it has a title.
DEAR JIM: Let's call it "To Bee or Not to Bee."
DEAR READERS: Words to live by (I quote New York Times columnist A.M. Rosenthal, Oct. 8, 1991): "Silence is a lie. Silence has a loud voice. It shouts, 'Nothing important is happening -- don't worry.' So, when something important IS going on, silence is a lie."
(Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
CHILD'S TASTE FOR TOOTHPASTE TURNS HER SMILE INTO A FROWN DEAR ABBY: Recently our 3-year-old daughter ate almost a whole tube of a popular children's toothpaste. It is attractively packaged, in a fun shape, and tastes almost like candy or gum. I was more
Poison control told us that the fluoride in the toothpaste was a toxic substance -- at least when more than three ounces were consumed at one time by a 33-pound child. They advised us to give her syrup of ipecac (which we fortunately had in our locked medicine cabinet) to induce vomiting. They also told us that the vomiting would probably continue for several hours, along with diarrhea.
It was a long, upsetting night for all of us, but thanks to our friend and the doctors at the poison control center, our daughter is fine today.
Abby, please warn all parents that because a product does not have a warning label does not mean that it is safe for unsupervised use by children. Many household products are often left unlocked in bathroom cabinets and drawers, on counters, under sinks, often by the same unsuspecting parents who carefully lock up their medicines and cleaning supplies.
Please be more careful than I was. And if you don't have syrup of ipecac, purchase some today and post the number of your closest poison control center next to your telephone. -- A WISER MOM IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WISER MOM: Thank you for your helpful reminder to other parents. Phone numbers for your police department, fire department, poison control center and doctors should be clearly posted near every phone, especially in homes in which there are children. Ideally, children should be under constant supervision. But in reality, nobody can watch children 100 percent of the time.
DEAR ABBY: I am 5 foot 2 inches and weigh 90 pounds. I try very hard to gain weight, but my doctor tells me that I have an overactive metabolism, and that it will work itself out someday. I try to accept that and do whatever I can to stay healthy and gain weight.
What really bothers me is being called "skinny." People say mean things like, "Every time I see you, you look skinnier and skinnier," or they'll grab my arm, measure it with their fingers, and say, "Gee, your arms are skinny -- you must eat like a bird." I could never imagine someone saying to an overweight person, "Every time I see you, you look fatter and fatter!"
Abby, the reason I am writing is to make people aware that it hurts a thin person to be called "skinny" as much as it hurts an overweight person to be called "fat." Also, it's just as hard for a thin person to gain weight as it is for an overweight person to lose weight. I wish people could start using words like "thin, slim, slender or petite," instead of "skinny, bony or scrawny." -- SICK OF BEING CALLED SKINNY
DEAR SICK: Although most offenders are probably more thoughtless than intentionally mean-spirited, your message deserves to be heard.
Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)