DEAR READERS: Your chuckle for today: When George Jessel took Lena Horne to a famous restaurant, the doorman asked, "Who made your reservations?"
Jessel replied, "Abraham Lincoln."
DEAR READERS: Your chuckle for today: When George Jessel took Lena Horne to a famous restaurant, the doorman asked, "Who made your reservations?"
Jessel replied, "Abraham Lincoln."
DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old single (by choice) woman, and after 20 years of dating, I have come to the conclusion that my mother was wrong when she said, "A lady never calls a gentleman -- she waits for him to call her." Too many times I've had a man ask for my phone number, then I'd wait impatiently for him to call me. Sometimes he'd call, yet there were times when he never followed through. Then I'd agonize over what I might have done wrong.
When a woman meets a man she'd like to see again, and he takes her number, why shouldn't she feel free to take his, too, so if he doesn't call her, she can call him?
I recently met a very attractive man and we seemed to hit it off very well, but instead of his taking my number and saying the usual "I'll call you," he gave me his number and asked me to call him. Perfect! I had the option either to call him or not -- it was all up to me. I liked that.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not on a power trip. I still like doors opened for me, but I prefer to do the calling.
I'd like to hear the opinions of men on this. -- DON'T CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU
DEAR DON'T: Many women are the aggressors, and they do not apologize for it -- nor should they. Relationships should be based upon honesty -- and there is nothing wrong with saying, "I find you very attractive, and I'd like to see you again." It doesn't matter who makes the first call. Women are people, and people should not play games.
Gentlemen?
DEAR ABBY: When I read the story about the sister-in-law who allows her dog to eat off the same plates as humans, I thought of my mother. Buying a special dish for the dog will not work. My mother has several dogs and cats, and they have their own feeding dishes. After dinner, however, they are allowed to finish the leftovers from her regular plates.
Once when we were visiting, she went one step further. She prepared a tuna casserole, and during our meal, one of the cats jumped up onto the table. My mother took the serving spoon from the casserole, tapped the cat on the nose, then turned to my husband and asked if he wanted seconds. He declined. -- KANSAS CITY
DEAR READERS: This morning, I received the following note from Jack Hill, a valued friend and employee who has been in my mail room since Year One. I thought it was so cute, I would like to share it. It read:
DEAR ABBY: To remind you that I will be on vacation for one week beginning Monday.
For your information, I am not going anywhere; it will be a "Honey Do" vacation: "Honey, do this -- Honey, do that." -- JACK
Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.
DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. So let us pause for a moment today and make a mental note of all those blessings for which we can be thankful.
How is your health? You have a few minor complaints? Well, thank God they're not major. If you're reading this -- you're still here. You can probably think of at least one person who isn't around this year. (I know I can.)
If you awakened this morning and were able to hear the birds sing, use your vocal cords to utter human sounds, read the newspaper with two good eyes (or even one) -- praise the Lord! A lot of people couldn't. (Say a prayer for those who have perished -- from natural causes, fire, flood, earthquake or war.)
How's your pocketbook? Thin? You're not alone. But many people in much of the world are a lot poorer and have far less hope than we have in America.
Are you lonely? Well, the way to have a friend is to reach out to someone and try to be a friend. If nobody calls you, call someone. Go out of your way today to do something nice for another person. It's a sure cure for the blues.
Are you concerned about your country's future? Hooray! Our system has been saved by such concern -- concern for fair treatment under the law. Our country may not be a rose garden, but it is far from a patch of weeds.
Freedom rings! Look and listen. You can worship in the church of your choice (or not worship at all if that's your choice), cast a secret ballot and even criticize our government without fear of retribution. And for the first time, we are living in a unipolar world free from the threat of impending nuclear disaster.
As a final thought I'll repeat my Thanksgiving prayer. Perhaps you will want to use it at your table tomorrow -- let one of the children read it:
"O, heavenly father, we thank thee for food and remember the hungry.
"We thank thee for health and remember the sick.
"We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless.
"We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
"May these remembrances stir us to service,
"That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen."
May the spirit of Thanksgiving be shared by one and all! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and may God bless you and yours. -- Love, Abby
P.S. Why not invite a friend who lives alone to share a Thanksgiving meal -- or better yet, call and say, "I'm coming to get you, and I'll see that you get home." Try it, and let me know how your day was.
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: Over the years, you have provided your readers with numerous comments and some helpful, serious advice. But, Abby, your age and the changing technology have caught up with you -- and passed you by. The advice you gave "Living a Nightmare," whose husband wanted to videotape their sex act, was so off base. I had to let you know that you are out of touch with today's men and technology.
Today's women claim that the men in the U.S. Senate are not in touch with women's needs (Professor Anita Hill's charge of sexual harassment against Judge Clarence Thomas), and you are not in touch with today's men's needs. Abby, men have been capturing the sex act through photography since the invention of the camera. So, for your information, a man does not have to have a tumor on the brain to possess an age-old desire.
Abby, had you been up on the video technology available today and attuned to male desires, you would have given your correspondent at least one of the following options: 1. View themselves on the monitor without a tape in the camera. 2. Tape the act and she keeps the tape. 3. Make him agree that the two of them will be the only viewers of the tape. 4. Use the tape as a bribe to get all those things she's always wanted and couldn't get before.
Abby, you need either to retire or get a male adviser for males' problems. -- ALPHONSE BUSH, LOS ANGELES
DEAR ALPHONSE BUSH: I heard from other video-wise male readers who also disagreed with my answer, but there will be no mea culpas from this corner, because "Living a Nightmare" said that her husband's behavior had changed so noticeably that even his co-workers had mentioned it.
Furthermore, the issue was not the husband's wanting to videotape their sex act -- it was his heavy-handed tactics. When she advised her husband that having their sex act captured on a videotape made her uncomfortable, he told her that he would not have sex with her again unless it was on film! And when she suggested they consult a marriage counselor, he flatly refused. After her husband had been "badgering her every night for two months," she finally wrote to me.
I have always felt that what happens in the bedroom of two consenting adults is their own business, providing they are both agreeable and neither is harmed. The wife felt that his request was degrading, but he continued to badger her; therefore, I concluded that his behavior was sick. Whether it was a symptom of a potentially life-threatening illness would have to be determined by a medical doctor.
I rest my case and stand by my answer, even though it's entirely possible that the husband was more brutish than brain-damaged.
P.S. I already have a male adviser. I sleep with him.
Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)