Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Travelers Say Radio News Doesn't Know Where It's At
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I travel the highways a lot and listen to the radio for weather reports. This can be very frustrating. The station call letters are broadcast (for example: XXXX), but never do they disclose the city they are from. They give weather alerts and name the affected counties, but never the cities they are near or in! When you are driving down strange highways (never traveled before) and hear the weather alerts (but no city or town named), it is impossible to read a map and try to find the name of the county, which is in small print.
This has happened to us twice. We drove right into tornado warnings not realizing it. The sky grew darker and darker and then the storm hit. Have you ever tried driving through St. Louis, road construction, blinding rain and lightning? I did. And I was a nervous wreck by the time I got through St. Louis. We couldn't even see the white lines on the highway. Our turnoff was blocked by road construction and we had to sit on the berm until the storm passed.
There should be an FCC regulation that forces radio stations to include their location and, if a weather alert arises, announce which main highways are included in the alert area. Please have pity on the poor traveler going through your state. I'm sure others feel as we do. -- INDIANA TRAVELERS
DEAR TRAVELERS: Your transmission has been received loud and clear -- so now hear this: This is Station ABBY in Los Angeles, imploring other broadcasters to mention their location along with their call letters. The information could be a lifesaver.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old single man who is dating a 42-year-old divorced woman who has three teen-aged daughters (15, 16 and 17). I intend to marry her and adopt her daughters.
She wants to marry a man who will be a good father to her daughters, and the daughters are very eager to have their mother married to a man who would be a father to them. This will be my first marriage.
Can you recommend a book for me? I don't know much about raising teen-aged girls. -- BEWILDERED IN CANADA
DEAR BEWILDERED: Your local library should have a wide selection of books on "stepfamilies" and "blended" families.
I respect a woman who wants to marry a man who would be a good father to her teen-aged daughters, but since they will become adults and fly the nest within the next five years, you would be wise to evaluate her as a woman with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life.
WHITE-COLLAR WOMAN PONDERS FUTURE WITH BLUE-COLLAR GUY
DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old professional woman who is considered attractive. I am well-educated and enjoy a very successful career. I am currently dating a man my age who has a job doing manual labor. (He works in a warehouse.) He has only a high school education, which is all he ever wanted. He loves sports, has a great sense of humor and is not terribly ambitious. We never fight or argue, and he treats me like a queen.
This current man in my life is somewhat immature in that he is still very attached to his buddies and enjoys the bar scene -- although he doesn't have a drinking problem. (Two beers is his limit.)
He loves children and would be a kind and loyal husband and father. My biological clock is running, and I would like a family. I love him, but my question is: Can a relationship like this last? He wants to marry me, but I am concerned that perhaps he is too simple, and I might grow bored.
Last year, I ended a relationship with a man who wanted to run my life, and now I fear that in this case, I would be running this man's life. I have never been treated this well -- ever. If I do decide to end this relationship, how could I ever explain why? -- ON THE FENCE IN WAUKEGAN, ILL.
DEAR ON THE FENCE: A relationship like yours can last only if you appreciate what a rare jewel you have in a man who treats you like a queen, is loyal, caring and steady. Clip this letter, and should you decide to end this relationship, read it to him. He may not be as well-educated as you, but I assure you, he will understand and become history.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 44-year-old divorcee who married a 34-year-old man last December.
The problem is, he wants us to have a baby together. Abby, I already have two teen-agers by a previous marriage and I feel that I am getting too old to start a second family. However, I want to keep my husband happy.
What is your opinion? Should we try to adopt? We are both professionals, so money isn't the problem. -- CAN'T DECIDE
DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: This is one decision that you must make yourselves. Sit down together and make a list of all the advantages of having the baby. Then list the possible disadvantages. Next, list all the advantages and disadvantages of adopting a child.
You say you want to keep your husband happy, which is both generous and admirable. But it is equally important that the decision will also keep you happy.
DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine was engaged to be married and she was given several bridal showers. Her wedding was scheduled to be a month later. All the preparations were made -- then suddenly the wedding was canceled because the groom changed his mind.
Is the intended bride supposed to return all the shower gifts? Or are they hers to keep for her next wedding? Please answer soon. -- SUSAN B. IN NEWARK, N.J.
DEAR SUSAN: The bride should return the shower gifts. And promptly.
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
MOM'S DEVOTION TO HER BOSS LOOKS LIKE FUNNY BUSINESS
DEAR ABBY: My parents have been married for 16 years. I am 21. My first mother died. Mom and Dad have always had a trusting relationship.
Mom has been working for a law firm for the past seven years. Lately she's been spending a lot of time with her boss. It's gotten to the point where "Pete" -- her boss -- will pick her up and drive her to work every morning, then he brings her home after she has worked late. They go out to lunch together nearly every day.
For the past two weeks, Mom has worked late every night and she's gone in on Saturday to "help him out." Pete is married, too. Yesterday he gave her a single long-stemmed rose.
I don't dare say anything to either of my parents, so I'm asking for your advice. My younger brothers have both asked me if I thought something was going on between Mom and her boss. I've always said, "No way," but now I think differently. I hate feeling this way. I love both my parents dearly, but I think Mom is taking advantage of Dad's trust in her. What should I do? -- CONFUSED DAUGHTER
DEAR CONFUSED: You and Mom are overdue for an adult-level mother/daughter chat. Do not make accusations; confide your feelings, and explain that your brothers are uncomfortable with the amount of time she has been spending with her boss -- and they are asking questions for which you have no answers.
It is possible that your mother's relationship with her boss is strictly business. And, since no attempt was made to hide the rose, it is also possible that it was given as a token of gratitude -- nothing more. So give your mother the opportunity to set the record straight.
DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, my husband died of cancer. He was only 39 years old. We had a wonderful marriage, but so many times the comment was made by individuals who had gone through a divorce, "It has to be much easier losing your husband through death than losing a mate by divorce."
How cruel and wrong could anyone possibly be! This comment was made several times shortly after my husband had died, and I still hear it today.
What do you make of it, Abby? You may use my name. -- MYRA WATKINS, GOODLAND, KAN.
DEAR MYRA: Those who would make such an insensitive comment probably intended to comfort you. (Like those who would say to a woman who had recently experienced a miscarriage, "Don't be sad -- you're better off; maybe something would have been wrong with the baby had you carried it to term.")
However, losing a cherished mate through divorce is oftentimes similar to a death -- the death of a dream that was too short-lived, or didn't work out.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)