Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to: Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
Birds in the Bush Are Safer Than Birds in Some Hands
DEAR ABBY: Bless you for your humanitarian objection to the traditional Labor Day Pigeon Shoot in Hegins, Pa.
I happen to be a bird lover, and it may please you to know that I wrote to you in 1961 on the subject of cruelty to birds. You printed my letter and I still have the clipping. I am enclosing a copy. You may want to print it again. -- STILL A BIRD LOVER AT AGE 89
DEAR BIRD LOVER: It's a wonderful letter, and I certainly do want to print it again. Here it is:
DEAR ABBY: Will you please say something about people who buy birds as pets, and then mistreat them? I have actually had people say to me, "Our canary fell into the dishwater and was drowned." Or, "Our parakeet flew into the open fireplace and got burned up." Or, "The cat got it." Or, "The dog got it."
I once knew a man who used to give his parakeet vodka just to see how it would act. This same man is big and strong, and just because the bird pecked him on the ear, he knocked the bird down and broke its wing!
What a pity that birds are the most abused of all pets. -- BIRD LOVER
DEAR BIRD LOVER: Not all pet birds are abused -- only those who are unfortunate enough to belong to people who belong in cages.
DEAR ABBY: Will you please say something to older women who work at fast-food places and take jobs from us teen-agers?
There's one who works here, and she's so goody-goody -- always on time, and she never goofs off. I don't think she really needs the money.
She must be 50 years old -- at least. -- A TEEN, CENTERVILLE, IOWA
DEAR TEEN: I doubt very much that a 50-year-old woman would be working at a fast-food place unless she really needed the money. It's possible that if it weren't for that job, she would be on welfare. If she's always on time and never goofs off, I'd say she's setting a fine example for the other employees. Give her a break.
DEAR ABBY: I couldn't resist sharing this old story when I read about the plate-licking dog:
The preacher was invited to Sunday dinner by a church member. When he was called to the table, he noticed that it was set with the dirtiest dishes he had ever seen.
He asked his hostess: "Are these dishes clean?" She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." He then reluctantly blessed the food and began eating. The food was delicious, so he praised the hostess in spite of the dirty dishes.
When she cleared the table, she took the dishes to the back door and hollered, "Here Soap! Here Water!" -- DOG LOVER IN ABILENE, TEXAS
PARENTS OF TATTOOED SON THINK HE WEARS A BRAND OF SHAME
DEAR ABBY: You blew it when you advised the mother who signed herself "Unhappy Down South." Her college-aged daughter had come home with a small tattoo of an eye on her ankle. You reminded her that the ankle belonged to her daughter.
Abby, our son got his first tattoo when he was 17. His father and I thought it was just a fad. Well, today that son is 52 years old, and he is covered from neck to knees with tattoos, which include a naked lady on his stomach that reaches down each leg, and a large Mexican woman on his back wearing a sombrero. Abby, if you don't think that's embarrassing, try carrying him to a doctor or hospital.
Please tell that poor lady to see to it that her daughter's tattoo is removed, even if she has to be strapped down! And it might be well to use the strap in a few other places, too.
Decent, respectable people simply do not approve of tattoos. -- TATTOO TABOO IN BROWNWOOD, TEXAS
DEAR T.T.: Begging your pardon, but an adult offspring -- male or female -- has the right to make his or her own decisions concerning tattoos. Also, please do not presume to speak for all decent and respectable people.
In addition, to suggest that a strap be used in "a few other places" makes you guilty of condoning physical violence. The advice from here is, "Back off."
Read on for a letter from a reader in Brooklyn:
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Unhappy Down South" who is upset about her daughter's tattoo on her ankle.
A year and a half ago, I underwent 36 days of radiation for breast cancer. The area to be radiated had to be encircled by tattoos in order to leave a permanent "map" for the radiologist -- to prevent any future radiation treatments from overlapping the original site.
How nice it would have been to be tattooed by choice rather than necessity. I surely would have preferred an "eye" on my ankle to a series of black marks on my chest as a reminder of what I'd like to forget.
So, to "Unhappy Down South": Please be grateful that your daughter is well and happy -- let her enjoy her life.
Please get your priorities straight. I did. -- MRS. JULIE KERR, BROOKLYN, N.Y.
DEAR JULIE: Yours was a very sobering letter. I wish you a complete recovery.
DEAR ABBY: I am a young girl who made the dumb mistake of having black eyeliner tattooed on my upper and lower eyelids. I hate it now and have called around trying to find someone who can remove tattoos, and can't find anyone who will attempt to remove tattoos from eyelids because it's too dangerous.
Do you know anyone in Orange County, Calif., who could undo this eyeliner? If not, I hope this will serve to warn other girls not to be as hasty as I was. Please answer in the paper because I can't receive mail at home; my family may see it and say, "We told you not to do it." -- FOOLISH AND SORRY
DEAR FOOLISH AND SORRY: Unfortunately, I know of no way to remove tattooed eyeliner. My best recommendation would be to conceal the offending eyeliner with a product used to cover blemishes, freckles or an unsightly discoloration. Inquire at the cosmetic counter of your local department store. I recommend Covermark and Dermablend.
Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Get-Well Wishes Go Astray if Not Carefully Addressed
DEAR ABBY: I am a volunteer at the local hospital, and I deliver the "get well" cards to hospital patients. Here are some suggestions to ensure that the cards are delivered to the patients without delay.
-- Be sure to put your name and return address on the envelope. This helps the patients determine whether or not the card is meant for them. Also, if the patient has gone home, or died, we are able to return the card to the sender. (Today we had two women with the same first name, middle initial and last name. One woman opened all six cards, and four of them were for the other patient.)
-- When addressing the cards, use the patient's given name ("Mary L. Jones") not a nickname ("Sissy Jones") or her husband's name ("Mrs. John Jones"). Also, do not use room numbers; patients frequently change rooms.
Last week we received a card for "Buddy." We also had a "Charles E. ----" listed, and all his cards were addressed to "Ed," "Eddie" and "Edward."
-- Please write clearly and do not use the entire face of the envelope for the address. If the patient has been released, we must mark through the hospital address and squeeze the home address on the card.
-- And last, but not least, if a patient is in the hospital for a long time, send cards at frequent intervals. -- NAOMI D. TRENARY, WINCHESTER, PA.
DEAR NAOMI: Thank you for the suggestions, which everyone should heed. Greeting cards can boost a person's flagging spirit -- but only if they are received by those for whom they are intended.
DEAR ABBY: Last Friday, some friends and I went to a nightclub to listen to the band and have a drink. Shortly after I arrived, a very attractive man asked me to dance. (I'll call him Bill.) We hit it off immediately, and he asked if I was married. I told him I wasn't, and he said, "That's great -- neither am I." I invited him to sit at our table, and I found him to be a really neat guy.
At the end of the evening, Bill said his ride home had left, so I gave him a ride home. He told me his roommate had guests over and he didn't want to intrude, so we parked in front of his place and talked and kissed for nearly two hours. When we finally said goodbye, we had spent four beautiful hours together.
Before leaving, I gave him my phone number with high hopes of hearing from him. (He gave me no phone number.)
A few days later, a friend who had been at the club when I first met Bill told me that Bill is a married man who lives with his wife and four children. Abby, I was shocked. If he calls me, what should I say? -- SHOCKED IN FRESNO
DEAR SHOCKED: Tell him that you learned that he is married, and you have no time for married men. Then say goodbye!
By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)