DEAR ABBY: My youngest brother-in-law is getting married this spring. We live on opposite sides of the country, but we are expected to come to this wedding. We simply can't afford to go as a family. My husband thinks he should go anyway, even though his wife and kids can't. I disagree with him; I say if we can't all go, then none of us should go.
I already know what the outcome is, but I would like to know what you think about this problem, and how would you resolve it?
I also know what the outcome would be were it someone in my family getting married. I'd tell them flat out that we cannot afford to go to the wedding, then we would send them a gift and our best wishes.
Am I being selfish, Abby? Or is my husband? -- FEELING ABANDONED
DEAR FEELING ABANDONED: I do not agree that since all of you can't afford to go to the wedding, nobody should go. Since your husband's youngest brother is being married and you can't afford to go with him, I think your husband should go without you.
By the same token, if someone in your family were being married on the opposite side of the country, and both you and your husband could not afford to make the trip, you should go without him.