Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I must take exception to your response to Karen A. Tamura of Cerritos, Calif., concerning the Vietnam War.
You said that National Guard units fired into a group of peaceful demonstrators at Kent State University, killing four and wounding nine.
Mobs are seldom "peaceful." These "students" confronting the National Guard at Kent State that day in 1970 constituted a mob. Their zeal for a cause led them astray. Four had to die before reason regained the upper hand. They were armed with bricks, rocks and clubs, and were scarcely in a mood to exercise discretion. It is ever so easy, after the fact, to declare what was should not have been. -- ALLAN E. BOVEY, SPRINGFIELD, MASS.
DEAR ALLAN: Read on:
DEAR ABBY: For years I have fumed as I read the sob stories about the "peaceful anti-war demonstrators" at Kent State. I know Vietnam wasn't a popular war -- I hated it, too. It is too bad these demonstrators were killed -- but peaceful? NO!
1. These "peaceful" demonstrators burned the ROTC building.
2. These "peaceful" demonstrators had been ordered to leave, but refused.
3. These National Guardsmen were about the same age as the "peaceful" demonstrators. They were there obeying orders. Wouldn't you feel your life was threatened if you were a member of a small group facing a large crowd who was pelting you with stones and other missiles? Small wonder someone panicked and fired.
Everyone has heard about the "peaceful" demonstrators who were injured or killed, but the public has never heard about the guardsman who phoned his young wife and cried as he told her what he had seen, and who today, at age 48, still has problems as a result of what happened that day, and the subsequent questioning and harassment these innocent young men were subjected to because of the Kent State riots!
No, I wasn't there -- but my 22-year-old brother was an Ohio National Guardsman protecting his country, his state and the taxpayers' lives and property. -- HAD IT WITH KENT STATE IN OHIO
DEAR ABBY: Perhaps being attacked with bricks, bottles, etc., is a peaceful demonstration to you, but those 18-year-old guardsmen were scared into retaliation. Where, oh where, has the truth gone? -- PHYLLIS GOLLESLIN, MELBOURNE, FLA.
DEAR ABBY: The governor of Ohio did not send for the state National Guard because of "peaceful anti-war demonstrators" at Kent State in May 1970. Mobs of raging students were roaming the campus -- pillaging and burning everything in sight (including whole buildings). Local authorities were terrified and helpless. Blame the issuance of live ammunition to a group of frightened soldiers, completely inexperienced in mob control, who were being shouted at, spit on, or hit by bricks and rocks. These guardsmen were no older than the students.
Abby, please read current accounts (unbiased) before wrongfully reporting this terrible tragedy. -- DAVID PAIGE, PUYALLUP, WASH.
DEAR DAVID AND DEAR READERS: My source for the explanation of the Vietnam War and reference to Kent State came from the World Book Encyclopedia. I felt that this was an unbiased account, and it was in no way intended to mislead or inflame. Referring to it as a "peaceful" demonstration was my mistake. I now know the truth.
DEAR ABBY: Congratulations, you've done it again! You can now put another notch in your "success column" for Operation Dear Abby.
Last Thanksgiving, I wrote a letter to "Any Serviceperson" and sent it to the Persian Gulf as a part of your letter-writing campaign. I never really expected a reply, but I received one from a Lt. Patrick E. Fortune, which I answered promptly. We soon learned that we had a lot in common: His name is Patrick, my name is Patty; he's Irish-Catholic, I'm Irish-Catholic; he's one of seven kids, I'm one of seven kids; he went to an all-boys Catholic school, I went to an all-girls Catholic school; we both have dreamed of biking through Ireland. We also share many of the same beliefs about God, family and values.
When Pat returned to the states, we started talking on the telephone. We have had three- and four-hour long conversations. (Don't ask about our telephone bills!) I finally broke down and told him that I was absolutely nuts about him! He then confessed that he felt the same way about me.
We finally met in Cincinnati over the Labor Day weekend and had a sensational time. We knew there was no doubt about it -- we were right for each other.
Pat sent me a plane ticket so I could visit him at Fort Bragg, and our romance flourished. He will get out of the service in about six months, after which he plans to move to Milwaukee and make spoiling me a full-time job. That's wonderful because he's the most important person in my life.
So, Dear Abby, that's the saga of Pat and Patty. How can I ever thank you? -- PATTY TREACY, GREENFIELD, WIS.
DEAR PATTY: You just did.
DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I have been friends for 6 1/2 years. I am a single man who has never been married, and my best friend is a married woman with two children. Her husband's job allows him to be home only three nights a week. I even stay at her home about 50 percent of the time. Her husband has no objections to my staying in their home. In fact, we get along very well.
The problem is that everyone thinks it is abnormal for us to "hang out" as much as we do. We do not have sex, and never will; we are not attracted to each other sexually at all. We are just good friends and that's all.
So, what do you think, Abby? Is our relationship normal or not? I hope you will print this so our friends will know that two people of the opposite sex can be good friends -- and that's all. -- BUGGED IN BARSTOW
DEAR BUGGED: It is indeed unusual for a single man and a married woman who are not romantically involved to spend so much time together. It is also out of the ordinary for the woman's husband to be as secure and generous about his wife's close friendship with another man.
And yes, people of the opposite sex can be friends -- and that's all. It is not necessarily "abnormal," but it is unusual.
DEAR ABBY: I recently remarried. My new husband was also previously married. How should I introduce my first husband's relatives who are my former in-laws? I am very friendly with my ex-husband's nieces and nephews, too. -- SECOND TIME AROUND
DEAR SECOND: There is no reason to call attention to the fact that you were formerly related by marriage. Just introduce your ex-in-laws -- nieces and nephews -- as "dear" or "old" friends, and save the explanatory details for subsequent meetings.
Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Good Genes, Good Sense Give Woman Long and Happy Life
DEAR ABBY: This upbeat piece was written by my aunt, Marie R. Beatty of Denver. She wrote it for her family, but I think it deserves a wider audience. I hope you can find the space to use it. -- MARCIE THOMPSON, PEPPER PIKE, OHIO
DEAR MARCIE: I MADE the space, and thank you for sending it.
80 PLUS -- SO WHAT!
"People ask me how I can be so contented living alone. I am almost 84. First, I never really feel alone. There's so much life around me, I don't even eat alone. I have a tiny television set on my breakfast table, and I still live in the same house I lived in when my husband was alive.
"I find life very interesting. I can hardly wait to read my daily newspaper and the magazines I get. I want to live forever -- just to see what will happen!
"A bridge game now and then helps to keep my mind alert. So does keeping a diary and a scrapbook.
"I have a new project, a la Grandma Moses. I'm writing stories. It's fun, whether they're published or not.
"I think a person's attitude has more to do with staying young than genes. Of course, it's important to eat sensibly. (Even George Burns drinks prune juice!) And a little daily exercise is also necessary. I have an arthritic knee, so I can't take long walks. Instead, I exercise in bed just before I get up in the morning. First, I thank God that I'm alive, then I concentrate on the GOOD things that will happen that day. Is there a better way to start the day?
"I think older people should do their share of entertaining -- even if it's only homemade cookies and tea.
"Sometimes the rain gets in my way; then I remind myself that others may need it, so I put on my red raincoat and go out.
"Family is important. And how wonderful to have a grandchild call you a 'good sport.'
"It doesn't bother me if I forget something. Children are the best forgetters in the world.
"I consider getting older a triumph, but I want to keep on learning. There is so much to learn!
"At night I say, 'Thank you, God, for everything. If I didn't accept all the good things I was offered, it wasn't your fault; they were there. I'll be around tomorrow.' Then I fall asleep. -- MARIE BEATTY
"P.S. Perhaps I should have waited until I was 90 to write this, but I just couldn't wait to express myself. I expect to be around for a while; my mother lived to be 96."
DEAR ABBY: I hope you won't think that this is a dumb question. My mother serves fish all the time and tells us that fish is brain food. I told her that it isn't true -- it's only a myth. I have asked everyone in our family and they say that Mother is right, but I still think she's wrong. Tell me, Abby, is eating a lot of fish going to make a person smarter? -- A KID IN ROSWELL, GA.
DEAR KID: First of all, there are no "dumb" questions -- only people who remain ignorant because they haven't the courage to ask questions.
It is not true that fish is "brain food." According to The Dictionary of Misinformation by Tom Burnam: "Perhaps the myth that fish is 'good for the brain' arose from the fact that the nerve tissue which forms a part of the brain is rich in phosphorus, and fish do provide phosphorus-containing compounds. But so do meat, poultry, eggs and milk."
I know of no food that will make people smarter. Fatter, yes. Smarter, no.
This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)