This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DAUGHTER'S SEARCH FOR DAD ENDS HAPPILY WITH HIS CALL
DEAR ABBY: About 20 years ago my parents divorced. My mother kept my father's whereabouts unknown, and eventually all contact was lost. When I turned 18 and left home, I tried to no avail to locate my father. I gave up after six years, until I read a letter in your column. You gave the address for the Salvation Army, which has a Missing Persons Service to help find close relatives. I contacted them, and yesterday I received a telephone call from my father!
Many years have passed and he has a new family, but I hope we can build a relationship now.
Thank you, Abby, from the bottom of my heart, for making this possible. Please publish the information about the Salvation Army at least once a year. Maybe there can be other happy endings. -- YVETTE IN NEWPORT BEACH, CALIF.
DEAR YVETTE: No need to thank me. That's what I'm here for.
Readers, the Salvation Army operates a Missing Persons Locator Service in 90 countries throughout the world. This service is available to the public. Those interested should be aware of the following basic guidelines:
1. The inquirer should be searching for a near relative. Please do not request a search for old classmates, sweethearts, wartime buddies, friends or neighbors. And do not ask to find runaway adult children or someone owing you money.
2. The inquirer must be able to provide essential information about the missing person.
3. The Salvation Army reserves the right to accept or reject any request for services based upon consideration of reasonableness, feasibility or notice.
4. The inquirer is asked to forward a $10 non-refundable donation.
5. The inquirer may secure information and/or a missing persons inquiry form by contacting the nearest Salvation Army office in his area or by contacting the nearest Territorial Headquarters.
Addresses: P.O. Box C635, West Nyack, N.Y. 10994; 1424 Northeast Expressway, Atlanta, Ga. 30329-2088; 30840 Hawthorne Blvd., Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif. 90274; 10 W. Algonquin, Des Plaines, Ill. 60016.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have no children, but we plan to try in the near future. If we have a son, my wife wants to name him after me.
The problem is I already have a son named after me from my first marriage, and I don't think it would be right to have two half-brothers with the same name. It could cause them both problems in the future with bank accounts, charge accounts, loans, wills, etc.
My wife seems to think these would be only minor inconveniences. I don't see it that way.
Am I wrong for saying no to naming another son after me? And can you offer a possible solution to this problem? -- H.J.K. Jr.
DEAR H.J.K. JR.: You are not wrong. If that's the way you truly feel, why not reverse the first and middle names? Instead of "Henry Joseph Klophammer" (not your real name), name him "Joseph Henry Klophammer."
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from "J.C. in Gainesville" who wondered if he was wrong for ordering his passenger to "buckle up or get out!"
If he was writing from Gainesville, Fla., he should know that buckling up is the law in Florida. He could receive a ticket if he or his passenger does not have on a seat belt.
Recently a father was arrested in Florida when his unbuckled child died in a car accident. It is the driver's responsibility to make sure that everyone in his car is buckled up! J.C. definitely did the right thing. -- M.P. IN FORT LAUDERDALE
DEAR M.P.: Read on for an opposing view:
DEAR ABBY: In regard to your column on Sept. 12, "Buckle Up or Bail Out": The person who didn't want to use a seat belt may have had a serious phobia about it. I wish the do-gooders would use their own seat belts but keep their noses out of other people's lives. There have been cases of UN-belted survivors who would have been killed if they had been belted -- but that information is withheld from the average citizen.
I have done enough investigating on my own around here and have found that when nothing is said about a traffic fatality being belted or not, they were belted. Regarding the state trooper who said, "I have yet to unbuckle a seat belt from a dead person," I have also heard that only medical personnel can remove a body from a car. (Maybe that varies from state to state; I don't know.)
I prevented an accident some years ago while I was a front-seat passenger and the driver fell asleep at the wheel. I couldn't have acted in time had I been belted. If the driver demands the passenger use a seat belt, then the passenger has the right to demand that the driver obey every law and rule, too! It's possible to be belted and dead.
I'd feel a whole lot safer on the road if the seat belt zealots put as much effort into preventing accidents as they do in protecting their great god and savior, the Seat Belt Law!
This letter is not intended to stop anyone from using his belt. I'm not opposed to healthy diets, either. But I don't think anyone would want a law enacted and enforced that would penalize everyone who has gotten overweight or let his blood cholesterol get too high -- even though such a law might save lives. -- H.O. IN SUMNER, IOWA
DEAR ABBY: Your column on "faking it" created a big stir in Mesa, Ariz. A radio station in our town asked women over the age of 18 to call in and tell listeners whether they "faked it" or not. The results were: Out of 100 women, 58 said they did not fake it, and 42 said they did. -- NOT FAKING IT IN MESA
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR READERS: It's National Fire Prevention Week again, and the message for 1992 is: "FIRE WON'T WAIT -- PLAN YOUR ESCAPE!"
Since 80 percent of all fire deaths occur in the home, knowing how to escape will dramatically increase your chances of survival.
Firefighters urge you to replace the batteries in your smoke detectors when you turn your clocks back from daylight-saving time -- Sunday, Oct. 27. However, the warning of the smoke detector is not enough. You must have a well-rehearsed plan of escape before a fire strikes.
Remember, smoke is thick, and you can't see through it. Also, toxic gases can be disorienting, so you should practice crawling close to the floor, feeling your way along walls until you reach the door to the exit.
Fire drills are essential to ensure safety, so all members of the family should participate. You should all plan two escape routes from each room and make sure that each exit is accessible. Also, check for windows that could be painted shut, furniture blocking doorways, dead-bolt locks too high for children to reach, etc., and remedy these obstacles before a fire breaks out.
If you must escape through smoke, remember to crawl close to the floor where the air is fresher. If your clothing catches fire, stop, drop to the floor and roll to extinguish flames!
If there are elderly, disabled or very young family members, special efforts to get them out must be planned. They should also be included in your fire drills.
Many lives have been saved because a farsighted homemaker had a sturdy rope attached to an upstairs window, enabling those who were trapped upstairs to slide down the rope to safety.
And remember, once you are out -- stay out. Never go back into a burning house in an effort to "save" anything.
Fire drills are important not only for homes, but for schools and places of employment.
Although this year's motto is "Plan Your Escape," I would hope that everyone who reads this has at least two fire extinguishers that are in working order; one for the front of the house or apartment, and one for the back.
DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, you recommended a reply to any intrusive question; it was, "Why do you ask?"
I can't tell you how often I have used this, and I must thank you for it again. -- JANE THEODOROPOULOS IN REDWOOD CITY
DEAR JANE: The "Why do you ask?" response covers a multitude of presumptuous questions that should not have been asked in the first place. And it always throws the nosy questioner off balance and renders him/her speechless.
Thank you for thanking me, Jane. It gives me the opportunity to let my readers know that they are not compelled to answer an embarrassing (or personal) question just because someone had the nerve to ask it.
What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)