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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old divorced man. My ex-wife and present girlfriend are the only women I have ever had sex with, and both are extremely flat-chested. Therefore, I have never touched -- or even seen -- breasts of any size except in pictures.

Sometimes this bothers me, and I find myself staring at women with large breasts. My girlfriend is very understanding about this and even suggested that we go to a nudist camp so I could get an eyeful.

Abby, do you think going to a nudist camp would get this problem out of my system, or would it just aggravate it?

My decision depends on your reply. -- MISSING OUT IN L.A.

DEAR MISSING OUT: Your girlfriend's "understanding" is admirable, but nudist camps are not peep shows. They are for people who sincerely enjoy the freedom of camping out in the buff. You will find naturalists -- entire families -- at nudist camps.

There are legitimate theaters that offer adult entertainment wherein you can see what you want to see.

DEAR ABBY: Your column about "no-shows" (people who do not show up at a wedding reception after having accepted) struck a raw nerve with me. I was recently married, and we had 40 no-shows at our reception.

We included postage-paid response cards with every invitation, and about 60 percent responded to those. I did a lot of telephoning, and held off the final count to the caterers until two days prior to the wedding. At that time I had to make the final florist order (for every table of eight there was a centerpiece) as well as the final champagne amounts for toasting. We figured that this cost us $1,000 extra.

To this day, we have only found out that one woman was ill, a man didn't get home from a business trip, another man left his wife, and one couple had the flu.

Only one couple informed us personally that they were unable to attend -- three hours prior to the ceremony. At the reception, we learned that another couple had separated and he was too upset to attend.

Abby, please don't use my name or city; I'm hopeful this will alert some other folks, and there will be fewer no-shows. -- AFFRONTED NEWLYWEDS

DEAR NEWLYWEDS: I wish! I have yet to hear how readers felt about my suggestion concerning no-shows at a catered affair: "Since the food is already paid for, why not pack up the goodies and take them home or to a homeless shelter?"

CONFIDENTIAL TO "HANGING IN THERE" IN HOLDENVILLE, OKLA.: I admire your fighting spirit, but an artist knows when a painting is finished, and a wise woman knows when the affair is over. Accept it with grace, and save face.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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