DEAR ABBY: Your column about "no-shows" (people who do not show up at a wedding reception after having accepted) struck a raw nerve with me. I was recently married, and we had 40 no-shows at our reception.
We included postage-paid response cards with every invitation, and about 60 percent responded to those. I did a lot of telephoning, and held off the final count to the caterers until two days prior to the wedding. At that time I had to make the final florist order (for every table of eight there was a centerpiece) as well as the final champagne amounts for toasting. We figured that this cost us $1,000 extra.
To this day, we have only found out that one woman was ill, a man didn't get home from a business trip, another man left his wife, and one couple had the flu.
Only one couple informed us personally that they were unable to attend -- three hours prior to the ceremony. At the reception, we learned that another couple had separated and he was too upset to attend.
Abby, please don't use my name or city; I'm hopeful this will alert some other folks, and there will be fewer no-shows. -- AFFRONTED NEWLYWEDS
DEAR NEWLYWEDS: I wish! I have yet to hear how readers felt about my suggestion concerning no-shows at a catered affair: "Since the food is already paid for, why not pack up the goodies and take them home or to a homeless shelter?"