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by Abigail Van Buren

Wedding Video May Bring Some Gloom to the Groom

DEAR ABBY: Recently I attended the wedding of a good friend. Because I am a photojournalist by trade, she asked me if I would videotape her wedding, and I gladly agreed.

The wedding was beautiful and the reception went smoothly until the bride's father stopped the band to make an announcement. He said he had "lost" his wallet, which contained $1,500 with which he had intended to pay the band. He said if anyone found the money, it could be returned simply by leaving it in the men's lavatory, and no questions would be asked. No money was turned in.

The following day, I looked over the footage I had taken at the reception and was astonished to see that while filming a couple's conversation, in the background was the GROOM removing a wallet from the evening coat of the bride's father!

Now I don't know what to do. The couple is away for two weeks on their honeymoon. Should I tell my friend? Should I tell her father? Or should I just keep it to myself?

For the bride's sake, please do not use my name or address. -- NO NAME, NO ADDRESS

DEAR NO NAME: Call the bride's father and invite him to view the lovely video you took of his daughter's wedding -- and you won't have to tell anybody anything.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's brother's wife continuously flirts with my husband. She finds excuses to hug on him or be in his face.

I have spoken to my husband and asked him not to respond to her flirtations. He has backed off a little, but says he can't help it if she is always coming up to him.

Would I be wrong to speak to my sister-in-law about this and ask her to kindly stay out of my husband's face? -- JEALOUS IN RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR JEALOUS: Your husband is a grown man and a free agent. If he wanted to discourage the advances of his sister-in-law, he could easily do it with a few well-chosen words spoken in earnest.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I don't know how to solve. Many years ago, my husband and I became good friends with another couple. We have both had families since then, and have exchanged birthday and Christmas gifts.

In recent years we have grown apart, both in friendship and in miles. I would like to stop the exchange of gifts, as our friendship has definitely gone by the wayside, but I don't know how to approach the couple with this suggestion without offending them.

Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated. -- NOT CHEAP, JUST PRACTICAL

DEAR PRACTICAL: Be absolutely up front with this couple. Come Thanksgiving, write a note to say that you are thankful for friends with whom you can be completely honest, then suggest: "From now on, let us exchange only Christmas cards -- no gifts." I assure you they will not be offended. Trust me.

Hot off the press -- Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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