Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to: Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
Streamlined Postal Service Slows Down Mail at Home
DEAR ABBY: Sometimes I think that the U.S. Postal Service is its own worst enemy. They came out with a five-digit ZIP code which the public finally accepted (after a lot of grumbling). But right on top of that, they reduced the state abbreviations to only two characters which makes them very, very confusing. And now, four more ZIP code digits have been added!
Abby, ask people who don't come from these nine states the following questions:
Is "MA" Maine, Maryland or Massachusetts?
Is "NE" Nevada or Nebraska?
Is "AL" Alaska or Alabama?
Is "MS" Mississippi or Missouri?
I have recently had five mailings returned by the U.S. Postal Service because the address on the envelope had no apartment number on it. If the people who gave me their address did not include an apartment number, I have to address their mail as I see it. Why put the onus on me?
People tend to ignore decisions they feel are wrong and that they had no choice in making. Maybe they hope that the rules will be modified. -- HOPEFUL IN DAYTONA BEACH
DEAR HOPEFUL: The Postal Service now uses computers to speed up mail delivery. However, the machines that scan and sort the envelopes cannot decipher them properly unless they are coded with their new two-letter abbreviations. Mail addressed using the old familiar abbreviations is automatically shunted aside to be handled by postal employees -- which slows the process.
If you have forgotten the new abbreviations for each state, a pamphlet listing them is available at your local post office. Keep it handy, and you'll be amazed at how quickly you will learn the new system.
DEAR ABBY: You ran a piece about the benefits of hugging. I believe it was in 1988. Will you please run it again? -- B. REAVES, WINTERVILLE, N.C.
DEAR B.R.: Here it is:
HUGGING
Hugging is healthy: It helps our body's immune system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.
Hugging is all natural: It is organic, naturally sweet, no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients and 100 percent wholesome.
Hugging is practically perfect: There are no movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic checkups, low energy consumption, high energy yield, inflation-proof, non-fattening, no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, theft-proof, non-taxable, non-polluting and, of course, fully returnable.
Pet Owner Makes Her Case for Snakes' Obvious Charm
DEAR ABBY: After reading your article about people who are afraid of pets, I had to write. I have dogs, cats and also snakes -- all boa constrictors. While I was growing up, my brothers would come in from working the fields and get a big kick out of throwing snakes on me. I made up my mind I wasn't going to be afraid, so I studied up on snakes and learned everything I could about them -- that's how I started keeping snakes as pets. Now I'm invited to bring my snakes to schools and talk to children so they can decide for themselves whether snakes are good or bad.
Snakes make loving pets. I took my 6 1/2-foot boa constrictor everywhere with me until she got so big I could no longer sneak her into my blouse. Boa constrictors are non-poisonous. They're intelligent, too. When I ask for a kiss, she kisses me on the corner of my mouth.
Once, when she was on the couch with me, she heard someone coming into the house through the sliding glass door -- so she went right after him! (Afterward, the police refused to come in to make the report.) Dogs intimidate people by growling and showing their teeth, but most folks are terrified at the sight of a snake!
Snakes are much easier to care for than a dog or cat. They eat only once every eight or 10 days, and they're not slimy like most people think -- they're smooth and silky.
Before closing, I want to commend you for telling the reader who was terrified to discover a snake coiled up in the corner of her attic, "Why kill it? People don't realize that snakes eat mice and rats, and they're good for the environment." -- KAREN SMALL
DEAR KAREN: Snakes have gotten a bad rap ever since one made its debut in the Garden of Eden.
A few more reasons why snakes make good pets: They're quiet, you never have to walk them -- and you'll never have to worry about anybody stealing them.
DEAR ABBY: "Not Perfect," who says non-smokers should assess their own bad habits before looking down at smokers, seems to think that being an irritant to others is an inevitable part of life. Baloney! The smell of cigarette smoke is repulsive, which is why, for 17 years, I carefully abstained around non-smokers.
Now that I am an ex-smoker, I still have plenty of bad habits, but I am grown up enough to shield other people from them. A partial list: I do not snap my gum, hum overtures or make noxious nasal noises in public. When my windows are open, I keep my stereo down. It is not unreasonable for me to expect such consideration in return, or to be outraged when I don't get it.
No smoker who exercises good manners should be treated like a leper. However, people who light up around strangers, as someone recently did in front of me in the post office, deserve to be treated like the insensitive clods they truly are. -- IMPERFECT BUT POLITE, STATE COLLEGE, PA.
DEAR IMPERFECT: You are right -- it is simply a matter of "good manners," which calls to mind this time-honored quotation by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), the witty English author of "Gulliver's Travels": "Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy, is the best bred in the company."
"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: This is regarding the letter from "Mother of Girls" who was indignant because she had heard they were coming out with topless bathing suits for women. Evidently, Mother is ignorant of the world beyond the United States.
Topless attire for women has been commonplace in France, Italy, Greece (the cradle of Western civilization), the Turkish Coast, Israel (the cradle of Judaism and Christianity), Germany (the cradle of the Reformation), the Scandinavian countries, Great Britain, Portugal, Spain, Malta, the Netherlands, the Canary Islands, the Caribbean Islands, Australia, New Zealand, and every island in the Pacific Ocean save the Hawaiian Islands.
In fact, the only remaining "bastion of the bikini top" in the Western world is the United States. So before anybody starts tying women's beach attire to the collapse of Western civilization, it would be a good idea to take a good look around. -- ENLIGHTENED
DEAR ENLIGHTENED: Thanks for the enlightenment. My mail has been top-heavy with comment about that letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter from the "Mother of Girls" about topless bathing suits for women:
I wonder if she finds overweight men in swim trunks obscene? Personally, I'd prefer seeing a woman in a topless bathing suit than a beer-gutted slob parading around on the beach!
Last week I noticed a man of this description sunning himself. His stomach was so big he had to stand up before I could tell he was wearing trunks! Wouldn't you call that "indecent exposure"?
All human beings have breasts -- men and women. Some just happen to be bigger than others. The "low" in our civilization is not the amount of clothing people choose to wear; it is the person who believes that nudity is nasty. In a world where horrible crimes against humanity are committed every day, I have a hard time believing that women's bare breasts will bomb us back to the Stone Age. So, "Mother of Girls," what do I think is "left to save"? Perhaps our skins! -- RACHEL EMILIE MILLER, SISTER OF WOMEN
DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter you published about the 17-year-old boy who was having trouble finding a job: You suggested that he go back to some of the places where he had applied for work and was turned down -- and offer to work for one week with no obligation on their part.
Many years ago, I was having a very difficult time finding work. My father put an ad in the local newspaper saying, "My son will work for free for one week to prove that he is hardworking and honest." (Something to that effect.)
The telephone rang off the wall immediately! I was hired by the Tri-State Truck Sales Co. and worked for them for seven years.
Your idea is certainly worth trying. -- DAVID IN STRATFORD, N.J.
DEAR DAVID: Thanks. Now that idea is in the public domain. Readers, help yourselves.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)