"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Pet Owner Makes Her Case for Snakes' Obvious Charm
DEAR ABBY: After reading your article about people who are afraid of pets, I had to write. I have dogs, cats and also snakes -- all boa constrictors. While I was growing up, my brothers would come in from working the fields and get a big kick out of throwing snakes on me. I made up my mind I wasn't going to be afraid, so I studied up on snakes and learned everything I could about them -- that's how I started keeping snakes as pets. Now I'm invited to bring my snakes to schools and talk to children so they can decide for themselves whether snakes are good or bad.
Snakes make loving pets. I took my 6 1/2-foot boa constrictor everywhere with me until she got so big I could no longer sneak her into my blouse. Boa constrictors are non-poisonous. They're intelligent, too. When I ask for a kiss, she kisses me on the corner of my mouth.
Once, when she was on the couch with me, she heard someone coming into the house through the sliding glass door -- so she went right after him! (Afterward, the police refused to come in to make the report.) Dogs intimidate people by growling and showing their teeth, but most folks are terrified at the sight of a snake!
Snakes are much easier to care for than a dog or cat. They eat only once every eight or 10 days, and they're not slimy like most people think -- they're smooth and silky.
Before closing, I want to commend you for telling the reader who was terrified to discover a snake coiled up in the corner of her attic, "Why kill it? People don't realize that snakes eat mice and rats, and they're good for the environment." -- KAREN SMALL
DEAR KAREN: Snakes have gotten a bad rap ever since one made its debut in the Garden of Eden.
A few more reasons why snakes make good pets: They're quiet, you never have to walk them -- and you'll never have to worry about anybody stealing them.
DEAR ABBY: "Not Perfect," who says non-smokers should assess their own bad habits before looking down at smokers, seems to think that being an irritant to others is an inevitable part of life. Baloney! The smell of cigarette smoke is repulsive, which is why, for 17 years, I carefully abstained around non-smokers.
Now that I am an ex-smoker, I still have plenty of bad habits, but I am grown up enough to shield other people from them. A partial list: I do not snap my gum, hum overtures or make noxious nasal noises in public. When my windows are open, I keep my stereo down. It is not unreasonable for me to expect such consideration in return, or to be outraged when I don't get it.
No smoker who exercises good manners should be treated like a leper. However, people who light up around strangers, as someone recently did in front of me in the post office, deserve to be treated like the insensitive clods they truly are. -- IMPERFECT BUT POLITE, STATE COLLEGE, PA.
DEAR IMPERFECT: You are right -- it is simply a matter of "good manners," which calls to mind this time-honored quotation by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), the witty English author of "Gulliver's Travels": "Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy, is the best bred in the company."
DEAR ABBY: This is regarding the letter from "Mother of Girls" who was indignant because she had heard they were coming out with topless bathing suits for women. Evidently, Mother is ignorant of the world beyond the United States.
Topless attire for women has been commonplace in France, Italy, Greece (the cradle of Western civilization), the Turkish Coast, Israel (the cradle of Judaism and Christianity), Germany (the cradle of the Reformation), the Scandinavian countries, Great Britain, Portugal, Spain, Malta, the Netherlands, the Canary Islands, the Caribbean Islands, Australia, New Zealand, and every island in the Pacific Ocean save the Hawaiian Islands.
In fact, the only remaining "bastion of the bikini top" in the Western world is the United States. So before anybody starts tying women's beach attire to the collapse of Western civilization, it would be a good idea to take a good look around. -- ENLIGHTENED
DEAR ENLIGHTENED: Thanks for the enlightenment. My mail has been top-heavy with comment about that letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter from the "Mother of Girls" about topless bathing suits for women:
I wonder if she finds overweight men in swim trunks obscene? Personally, I'd prefer seeing a woman in a topless bathing suit than a beer-gutted slob parading around on the beach!
Last week I noticed a man of this description sunning himself. His stomach was so big he had to stand up before I could tell he was wearing trunks! Wouldn't you call that "indecent exposure"?
All human beings have breasts -- men and women. Some just happen to be bigger than others. The "low" in our civilization is not the amount of clothing people choose to wear; it is the person who believes that nudity is nasty. In a world where horrible crimes against humanity are committed every day, I have a hard time believing that women's bare breasts will bomb us back to the Stone Age. So, "Mother of Girls," what do I think is "left to save"? Perhaps our skins! -- RACHEL EMILIE MILLER, SISTER OF WOMEN
DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter you published about the 17-year-old boy who was having trouble finding a job: You suggested that he go back to some of the places where he had applied for work and was turned down -- and offer to work for one week with no obligation on their part.
Many years ago, I was having a very difficult time finding work. My father put an ad in the local newspaper saying, "My son will work for free for one week to prove that he is hardworking and honest." (Something to that effect.)
The telephone rang off the wall immediately! I was hired by the Tri-State Truck Sales Co. and worked for them for seven years.
Your idea is certainly worth trying. -- DAVID IN STRATFORD, N.J.
DEAR DAVID: Thanks. Now that idea is in the public domain. Readers, help yourselves.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Closed-Captioned TV Is Not Just for the Hard of Hearing
DEAR ABBY: Hooray for Cora Laird of Iowa who complained about how difficult it is to hear the dialogue over the noisy background sounds that many television shows feel are necessary. To her list, may I add: waterfalls, street traffic, but mostly -- background music. (In some cases I have concluded the dialogue is secondary to the music, since there is no way I can hear what is being said!) I also wear a hearing aid.
Your suggestion to write to the various sponsors was a bit impractical, since in a two-hour show there are approximately seven breaks with eight or nine commercials, plus TV ads in each one. Besides, the commercials are not the main problem -- I just hit the mute button; it's trying to hear the show itself.
The only way to reach the "powers that be" is through your column. A letter would not carry the clout your column does. If they would put filters in their ears, they might find out how truly irritating these background sounds are.
Have others written to substantiate this ongoing problem? -- HAD IT WITH BACKGROUND IN THOUSAND PALMS, CALIF.
DEAR HAD IT: I have received hundreds of letters with the same complaint -- however, one contained the following good news. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: There are about 20 million people in the United States with some degree of hearing loss -- also millions of recent immigrants still struggling to learn English. In addition, there are millions of adults who are learning disabled, or simply never learned to read.
What do they all have in common? They can all benefit from closed-captioned television. The problem: Very few of them realize they can be helped by closed-captions, let alone own the caption decoder needed to decode the otherwise invisible subtitle-like captions that are broadcast with many television shows, and recorded with many home rental video movies. (Contrary to popular belief, closed-captions are not just for deaf and hard-of-hearing people.)
The good news: Many people who become deaf early in life own a caption decoder. The National Captioning Institute claims that half the caption decoders sold were sold to Hispanic and Asian Americans who find it easier to understand new idioms and strange English expressions when they can read and hear the words at the same time.
The bad news: People who lose their hearing late in life either don't know about closed-captions, or consider "dependency" on captions as a sign of aging.
More good news: Starting July 1, 1993, ALL television sets 13 inches or larger made or sold in the United States will have a closed-caption decoder built inside!
Abby, please educate your readers and encourage them to turn on the decoder at all times if they have children at home who are reading at or below fourth-grade level. That little decoder chip inside the television set may help put a permanent dent in the illiteracy rates of this country. -- ANDREA SHETTLE, GALLAUDET COLLEGE, WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR ANDREA: Thank you for your informative letter. I am sure many will be very interested in the information you have to share.
AND DEAR READERS: Anyone interested in learning more about closed-caption technology may contact: National Captioning Institute Inc., 5203 Leesburg Pike, 15th Floor, Falls Church, Va. 22041. NCI has two toll-free numbers: (800) 533-9673 for hearing people, and (800) 321-8337 for deaf and speech-impaired people.
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)