Hot off the press -- Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DRUG-USER HOPES HIS CRIES OF PAIN REACH TEENS' EARS
DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old white male who, until recently, thought I had everything going for me. I had a wonderful girlfriend, a good-paying job, a nice apartment and a nice car. Then I began to use intravenous drugs and before I knew it, a year had blurred by. Today I have lost everything, everything!
I began to burglarize homes for money to buy drugs. I have lost all that was dear to me and am currently serving time in prison for burglary. While incarcerated, I lost my father to cancer, and the hardest thing I've ever had to do was walk down that church aisle to pay my last respects to my father -- escorted by two guards and in shackles and handcuffs! Dad was always there for me, but I couldn't be there for him in his last days.
Also, I found out that I have AIDS from using someone else's needles, and I don't know how much time I have left.
I want to run to every teen-ager, grab them and scream at them, "NEVER, NEVER TOUCH DRUGS!"
If I survive my incarceration (2 to 4 years), I want to tour schools and try to teach some of these kids before it's too late by telling them what I have learned. I can also tell them what they will miss as I'm finding out now: I can't have a normal, healthy relationship with someone I care for, for fear of infecting her. I will never know the joy of fatherhood because the AIDS virus could be transmitted to my child. There is so much in life I will miss -- and all because of drugs. -- TOO LATE FOR ME
DEAR TOO LATE: If you never get to "tour schools," you will have performed a valuable service by writing this letter. As you can see, I have printed your letter in full. God bless you, young man.
DEAR ABBY: Please tell me if I am right or wrong. My daughter-in-law's brother, "Bob," was married last week, and I was invited to the wedding. It was a big social event, and one of the most beautiful weddings ever held in our cathedral.
My daughter, "Lisa," was not invited, and now she's mad at me because I went. She thinks I should not have gone because she wasn't invited. Abby, there is no reason why Lisa should have been invited -- she's not related to Bob, and I am related only through marriage. Also, she's never even met the bride. Do you think she's justified in being angry and insulted over this? Now she hates me because I attended the wedding.
Lisa is in her 50s and I am in my 80s. -- HURT IN BROOKLYN
DEAR HURT: Lisa's behavior is childish and unreasonable. Do not permit your daughter to lay a guilt trip on you. If she "hates" you for attending a wedding to which she was not invited -- it's her problem, not yours.
DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter in your column from the pizza delivery truck driver, I had to write. I also work for a national pizza chain, as an inside person taking telephone orders. (Our goal is to take the order, make the pizza and deliver it within 30 minutes.)
The same parents who allow 3- and 4-year-olds to pay for the pizzas also put them on the phone to order them. I have to keep four adults on hold while trying to decipher the speech of a toddler. Meanwhile, the parents are in the background coaching him or her as to what to order, the address, etc. These parents obviously think this performance is incredibly cute. I have also had 5- and 6-year-olds placing orders as late as 10 and 11 p.m.
Abby, please allow me to point out a few tips for readers who order pizza:
1. Decide what you want to order before you call. We may have people on hold while you are conferring with each other as to what size to order, what toppings, etc.
2. Have the person who knows the address order the pizza.
3. Have your money ready for the driver, since he may have several pizzas to deliver within 30 minutes.
4. Please be on the lookout for your pizza once it's ordered. Turn on a light so your address is visible at night. Have an adult present to pay for the pizza. Also, lock up your Doberman, pit bull terrier, German shepherd, etc.
Thanks, Abby. This is a load off my chest. -- ELAINE IN BALTIMORE
DEAR ELAINE: Grazie for the suggestions.
DEAR ABBY: I was happy to see that piece in your column warning your readers about bringing valuables (jewelry) when they check into a hospital -- even for an overnight stay.
I've been an RN for 12 years and I am still amazed at the stuff people lug into a hospital.
Some come in with loads of suitcases for a week's stay. One woman brought all her diamonds and hid them in a pillowcase -- which almost got thrown in a hamper!
Only last month, a man brought his life's savings of $100,000 in cash! Luckily, an observant employee spotted the stash and called security to place it in the vault for safekeeping.
Elderly and confused patients are most vulnerable. I have seen patients throw wedding rings and hearing aids in the trash cans.
Yes, there are thieves even in hospitals, but it's impossible for us to search every man, woman and child that comes and goes here.
Please print this, Abby. No city, please. -- ROSE, AN R.N.
Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Cost of Vietnam War Was High in Lives and Dollars
DEAR ABBY: While cleaning out my garage, I found a P.O.W. bracelet in a small box. On the bracelet was engraved "LCDR JOHN McKAMEY: 6-2-65" -- and then a tiny white star.
If you can locate this man's family, I would be happy to send this bracelet to them. I was very young when the Vietnam War took place and know very little about it. Why was it started? And exactly what was accomplished? They don't teach much about it in school, and those who served in Vietnam seem reluctant to talk about it. -- KAREN A. TAMURA, CERRITOS, CALIF.
DEAR KAREN: The Vietnam War was the longest war in which the United States took part. It began in 1957 and ended in 1975.
About 58,000 American men and women died in that war, and approximately 365,000 were wounded. South Vietnamese deaths topped 1 million, and North Vietnamese losses ranged between 500,000 and 1 million men, women and children.
In terms of money, the war cost the United States more than $150 billion. According to the World Book Encyclopedia:
On Aug. 4, 1964, President Lyndon Johnson announced that the U.S. destroyers Maddox and C. Turner Joy had been attacked in the Gulf of Tonkin, off the coast of North Vietnam. (Some Americans doubted that the attack had even occurred -- it has never been confirmed.) President Johnson then asked Congress for power to take all necessary measures to repel an armed attack against the forces of the United States and to prevent further aggression. The war soon became an international conflict. Joining the U.S.A. were Australia, South Korea, New Zealand, Thailand and the Philippines.
On May 4, 1970, U.S. National Guard units fired into a group of peaceful anti-war demonstrators at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio -- killing four students and wounding nine others. Small wonder nobody wants to talk about it; it was not our proudest hour. Soon afterward, the Senate voted to repeal the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution.
The war ended when South Vietnam surrendered to North Vietnam in Saigon (now called Ho Chi Minh City) on April 30, 1975.
Those who are interested in locating other former prisoners of war may write to: The Assistant Secretary of Defense of Internal Security Affairs; Attn: Principal Adviser POW/MIA Affairs, Washington, D.C. 20301-3407.
DEAR ABBY: About that lady in Levittown who told her husband to take a cold shower to take off weight: Maybe she's onto something revolutionary! Somewhere in the dim past, I got it into my head that when the body gets too cold, the hypothalamus kicks in, and in order to maintain a normal body temperature, it starts the body into a fat-burning program. I also think that people living in the Arctic eat a diet that is high in calories for the same reason.
Wow! Let your imagination go. Why not build a five-acre fat farm that is nothing more than a gigantic walk-in refrigerator? Holy smoke ... shiver yourself skinny! -- R.M. MORELL, M.D., SUN CITY, ARIZ.
DEAR DOCTOR: If you are right, more than half of America will love you, but a five-acre refrigerator would not be big enough to accommodate the grateful masses. So, it's back to exercise -- aerobics and pushing away from the table.
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)