DEAR ABBY: Do you happen to know George Bernard Shaw's very witty definition of love? -- JAMES K. IN MIAMI
DEAR JAMES: Yes. "Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."
DEAR ABBY: Do you happen to know George Bernard Shaw's very witty definition of love? -- JAMES K. IN MIAMI
DEAR JAMES: Yes. "Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."
DEAR ABBY: You were right in your advice to "No Guts," who had given his fiancee a three-carat cubic zirconia. (You told him to find the guts because it would be better if she got the news from him.) I only wish he had written his letter a year ago. Here is the female point of view:
My fiance gave me a two-carat "diamond," saying he had inherited it from his grandfather. He said the jeweler that mounted it had told him its value was "between $8,000 and $10,000 dollars." When I asked if he'd ever had it appraised or insured, he said he hadn't -- because he didn't want to pay an inheritance tax. His mother didn't even know he had it, he said, and I could never tell her because it would cause a family feud!
Of course, being in love and blinded by this gorgeous "rock," I fell for the whole story, and proudly showed it off at work and to friends and family. Imagine my embarrassment (yes, after the wedding!) when I took it to a jeweler to have it appraised, and he told me it was not a diamond!
When I confronted my husband, he gave me another string of lies, saying that either one of his previous roommates had found the ring in the apartment and replaced the stone with a fake, or that when he took it to the jeweler for engraving, the jeweler must have switched the stones. Then he said that he knew when he said "I do" that it wasn't a diamond, but planned to replace it (without my knowledge) on our first anniversary.
Needless to say, eight months before our first anniversary, I divorced this con artist.
I learned my lesson the hard way -- and my sympathies go out to his next victim. "No Guts" should heed your sound advice, Abby, but I would also advise women to be wary of and question any diamond that is over one-half carat if it has no papers. -- E.Z. DECEIVEE
DEAR DECEIVEE: It's discouraging to contemplate a world where a bride-to-be must see in black and white that her fiance is on the up and up. Not all that glitters is gold, nor is all that sparkles a genuine diamond.
DEAR ABBY: A few months back I sent for your booklet on "How to Be Popular." It did me so much good, I'm a different person. I read it several times, and then passed it on to family and friends. It may never get back to me, so will you please send me another copy -- along with "How to Write Letters for All Occasions" and "How to Have a Lovely Wedding"?
I read your column every day -- and it makes such good sense. God bless you. -- HELEN LEWIS, OOLOGAH, OKLA.
"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: About 20 years ago my parents divorced. My mother kept my father's whereabouts unknown, and eventually all contact was lost. When I turned 18 and left home, I tried to no avail to locate my father. I gave up after six years, until I read a letter in your column. You gave the address for the Salvation Army, which has a Missing Persons Service to help find close relatives. I contacted them, and yesterday I received a telephone call from my father!
Many years have passed and he has a new family, but I hope we can build a relationship now.
Thank you, Abby, from the bottom of my heart, for making this possible. Please publish the information about the Salvation Army at least once a year. Maybe there can be other happy endings. -- YVETTE IN NEWPORT BEACH, CALIF.
DEAR YVETTE: No need to thank me. That's what I'm here for.
Readers, the Salvation Army operates a Missing Persons Locator Service in 90 countries throughout the world. This service is available to the public. Those interested should be aware of the following basic guidelines:
1. The inquirer should be searching for a near relative. Please do not request a search for old classmates, sweethearts, wartime buddies, friends or neighbors. And do not ask to find runaway adult children or someone owing you money.
2. The inquirer must be able to provide essential information about the missing person.
3. The Salvation Army reserves the right to accept or reject any request for services based upon consideration of reasonableness, feasibility or notice.
4. The inquirer is asked to forward a $10 non-refundable donation.
5. The inquirer may secure information and/or a missing persons inquiry form by contacting the nearest Salvation Army office in his area or by contacting the nearest Territorial Headquarters.
Addresses: P.O. Box C635, West Nyack, N.Y. 10994; 1424 Northeast Expressway, Atlanta, Ga. 30329-2088; 30840 Hawthorne Blvd., Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif. 90274; 10 W. Algonquin, Des Plaines, Ill. 60016.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have no children, but we plan to try in the near future. If we have a son, my wife wants to name him after me.
The problem is I already have a son named after me from my first marriage, and I don't think it would be right to have two half-brothers with the same name. It could cause them both problems in the future with bank accounts, charge accounts, loans, wills, etc.
My wife seems to think these would be only minor inconveniences. I don't see it that way.
Am I wrong for saying no to naming another son after me? And can you offer a possible solution to this problem? -- H.J.K. Jr.
DEAR H.J.K. JR.: You are not wrong. If that's the way you truly feel, why not reverse the first and middle names? Instead of "Henry Joseph Klophammer" (not your real name), name him "Joseph Henry Klophammer."
This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from "J.C. in Gainesville" who wondered if he was wrong for ordering his passenger to "buckle up or get out!"
If he was writing from Gainesville, Fla., he should know that buckling up is the law in Florida. He could receive a ticket if he or his passenger does not have on a seat belt.
Recently a father was arrested in Florida when his unbuckled child died in a car accident. It is the driver's responsibility to make sure that everyone in his car is buckled up! J.C. definitely did the right thing. -- M.P. IN FORT LAUDERDALE
DEAR M.P.: Read on for an opposing view:
DEAR ABBY: In regard to your column on Sept. 12, "Buckle Up or Bail Out": The person who didn't want to use a seat belt may have had a serious phobia about it. I wish the do-gooders would use their own seat belts but keep their noses out of other people's lives. There have been cases of UN-belted survivors who would have been killed if they had been belted -- but that information is withheld from the average citizen.
I have done enough investigating on my own around here and have found that when nothing is said about a traffic fatality being belted or not, they were belted. Regarding the state trooper who said, "I have yet to unbuckle a seat belt from a dead person," I have also heard that only medical personnel can remove a body from a car. (Maybe that varies from state to state; I don't know.)
I prevented an accident some years ago while I was a front-seat passenger and the driver fell asleep at the wheel. I couldn't have acted in time had I been belted. If the driver demands the passenger use a seat belt, then the passenger has the right to demand that the driver obey every law and rule, too! It's possible to be belted and dead.
I'd feel a whole lot safer on the road if the seat belt zealots put as much effort into preventing accidents as they do in protecting their great god and savior, the Seat Belt Law!
This letter is not intended to stop anyone from using his belt. I'm not opposed to healthy diets, either. But I don't think anyone would want a law enacted and enforced that would penalize everyone who has gotten overweight or let his blood cholesterol get too high -- even though such a law might save lives. -- H.O. IN SUMNER, IOWA
DEAR ABBY: Your column on "faking it" created a big stir in Mesa, Ariz. A radio station in our town asked women over the age of 18 to call in and tell listeners whether they "faked it" or not. The results were: Out of 100 women, 58 said they did not fake it, and 42 said they did. -- NOT FAKING IT IN MESA
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)