Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: Nearly every day, we read or hear about a major crime (such as murder) that was committed in the presence of many witnesses, but nobody called the police until after it was too late to save the victim.
Have we forgotten Kitty Genovese, who was stabbed in three separate attacks for more than half an hour in the courtyard of her New York apartment while 38 neighbors watched and did nothing? Only one person called the police -- and that was after Kitty was already dead!
That happened in 1964, but it inspired the social psychologists to study the apathy of our "I-don't-want-to-get-involved" society so prevalent in our nation today.
They concluded that when more than one person witnesses a crime, there is a "diffusion" of responsibility -- all the witnesses assume that "someone else" will call the police. So nobody calls.
I am not proud of the fact that I have been guilty of the above attitude. Please print this. -- NEVER AGAIN IN N.Y.C.
DEAR NEVER AGAIN: Thank you for writing to acknowledge your guilt. Perhaps your letter will cause others who witness a crime to call the police immediately.
DEAR ABBY: Please settle an argument I am having with a friend. She says it's tacky to state on an invitation to a bridal shower where the bride is registered.
I say it is a proper way to let people know where they can buy a gift. And it doesn't mean that everyone invited to the shower has to buy the gift at that store.
If you think it is considered tacky, please suggest a less tacky way of letting people know what the bride needs. I do not want 50 people calling me to ask where I am registered. -- A BRIDE WHO IS REGISTERED
DEAR BRIDE: Stating on the shower invitation where the bride is registered is not tacky; it is a convenience to those invited to the shower. Of course they have the option of buying a shower gift elsewhere if they so choose.
DEAR ABBY: A recent column contained a letter from "California Granny," who wrote on behalf of her daughter who had 7-month-old triplets. She asked you to ask your readers to refrain from stopping the parents of multiple birth children to ask personal questions, such as, "Did you take fertility drugs?"
This reminds me of the story about a young woman with six children waiting on the street corner for a bus. An elderly woman approached her and remarked that all the children so greatly resembled her -- but could they all be hers, since they appeared to range only several years in age?
The young mother replied that they were three sets of twins -- born a year apart, and they were all hers.
"My," said the older lady, "Do you and your husband have twins every time?"
"No," said the young woman, "Most of the time we don't have any!" -- A MORRISVILLE, PA., READER
Many Denominations Support a Woman's Right to Choose
DEAR ABBY: With all the talk about "pro-life" and "pro-choice," I am confused about where the various religious denominations stand in the controversy.
Can you please tell us which religions support a woman's right to choose? -- CONFUSED IN ST. PAUL
DEAR CONFUSED: It is confusing. Not only do the various theologies differ in their positions on abortion, but within each religion individual members (and groups) may also have differing beliefs. The following are the official positions of some of the major religious groups that support a woman's right to choose.
AMERICAN FRIENDS SERVICE COMMITTEE (QUAKERS): Supports a woman's right to follow her own conscience concerning child-bearing, abortion and sterilization.
CHURCH OF CHRIST, SCIENTIST: "Matters of family planning are left to the individual judgment of members of our church."
CONSERVATIVE JUDAISM: Opposes government restrictions on a woman's right to have an abortion.
EPISCOPAL CHURCH: "Any proposed legislation on the part of national or state governments regarding abortions must take special care to see that the individual conscience is respected."
ISLAM: Abortion is allowed for any reason in the first 40 days of pregnancy (approximately 5.7 weeks). They oppose abortion after this point, except if the woman's life is in danger. The issue of fetal deformity is an issue that is being examined by the church.
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH: "The abortion decision must remain with the individual, and be made on the basis of conscience and personal religious principles, and must be free of governmental interference."
REFORM JUDAISM: The decision of whether or not to have an abortion is the woman's. Under traditional Jewish law, the fetus is not considered separate from the woman until its head is out of the womb.
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST ASSOCIATION: Supports the "right to choose contraception and abortion as a legitimate expression of our constitutional rights."
UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST: "Upholds the right to have access to adequately funded family planning services, and to safe, legal abortions as one option among others."
UNITED METHODIST: Supports the legal option of abortion under proper medical procedures.
ZEN BUDDHISM: "A decision should be made in full awareness of the consequences, and should be made by the individual with a clear head fully awake to the whole issue."
AMERICAN BAPTIST CHURCHES: Have adopted a neutral position.
No stated position has been announced by: African Methodist Episcopal, Buddhism, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Seventh-day Adventists, Shintoism, Sikhism.
For further information, contact the Religious Coalition for Abortion Rights, 100 Maryland Ave. N.E., Suite 307, Washington, D.C. 20002; (202) 543-7032. No self-addressed, stamped envelope is required.
Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.
Widower Looking for Company Finds Women in Hot Pursuit
DEAR ABBY: Your letters from women who are "faking it" to satisfy their husbands are hilarious! But there is definitely another side to the story.
For 48 years I was married to a wonderful woman. Every sexual encounter was an expression of love -- not lust. She initiated the activity as often as I did. Then she suffered a paralyzing stroke, so for seven years I bathed her daily and cuddled her as I laid beside her as her beautiful body withered away. Our love did not require the sexual act; holding her in my arms was all I needed. She has been gone for two years, and no one could ever take her place.
I am a shriveled 76-year-old man and certainly nothing to look at. Last year I joined a senior citizens group, and you would think I am Clark Gable! Widows swarmed like flies to garbage! The first woman I danced with outweighed me by 100 pounds and wanted to "dirty dance" with me. The first night I had three invitations to spend the night. I never went to another meeting, but I've gone on overnight trips with the group. Abby, women knocked on my bedroom door! If you could see me you would know how hard up they must be.
I would like to find a woman for companionship, and possibly later on sex might enter the picture. But every woman I've met -- even in church -- makes advances. If these old gals have been faking it with their husbands, why do they become sex maniacs as soon as their husbands are gone? -- NO BARGAIN IN MINNESOTA
DEAR NO BARGAIN: Please don't label all women who long for intimacy "sex maniacs"; maybe all they want is a warm body to cuddle with. You are apparently more attractive than you think you are. Rejoice and count your blessings. Every 76-year-old widower should have your problems.
DEAR ABBY: I recently attended my first major league baseball game. The batter lost control of the bat and it flew into the crowd, striking a young girl. They carried her off and the game continued.
We never heard any more about it. Was the child hurt? Is she alive? Who knows? Does anybody care? The game went on.
There wasn't one word about it in the newspaper, but there was an article about a "minor hand injury" suffered by one of the players. Now, that's what I call bizarre! -- "C" IN K.C.
DEAR "C": You call it "bizarre" -- I call it a matter of priorities. Whose? The reporter who covered the baseball game.
DEAR ABBY: We had to laugh when we read the letter from the "Schnorrs of Arizona," who objected to the use of their name as "schnorrers" -- moochers, freeloaders, beggars. Our name is "Schmuck" -- how do they think we feel? -- THE SCHMUCKS OF ORMAND BEACH, FLA.
Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to: Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.