Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

How Much Help with Grad School Is Enough?

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is going back to school to get his master’s in psychology, which, as he and his dad explain, he needs to get very far in such a competitive field.

I’m all for his going back to school and have told him that if he needs, he can move back into my basement apartment, where he lived for a few months after he graduated the first time. The space is currently not being rented out, and even though his being there will cut into my extra income, it will be okay for a while.

My ex-husband has told our son that he doesn’t see why we can’t help him with the tuition as well. That I can’t do comfortably. My ex and I pooled our money and took care of most of the costs for a bachelor’s, but I am not ready to take on any more expense for an adult child. Am I being selfish, like my ex keeps telling me I am? --- FEEL LIKE I’M DOING ENOUGH

DEAR FEEL LIKE I’M DOING ENOUGH: Based on what you shared, I’m on your side. Allowing your son to live rent-free is no small contribution to furthering his education.

If your ex-husband is able and willing to kick in some money towards the other expenses, then that can be his way of offering support to your son.

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