Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

They Ask for Advice, but Never Take It

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter and her husband just bought a fixer-upper about an hour from where my wife and I live. My son-in-law is pretty handy, but not nearly as experienced with home repairs as his father and I am. We have both basically rebuilt the homes we currently live in, so we know a thing or two about how best to get things done.

Nearly every week, the kids ask either me or the other dad about the best way to go about a repair or renovation. Most of what they’re tackling isn’t all that hard to do, but it seems like whatever we tell them — and the other dad and I usually agree on how to do a thing — the kids go ahead and do whatever they want anyway.

It makes me think my daughter and son-in-law are just trying to make the “old guys” feel good, but it doesn’t feel good to be ignored.

So do we just stop giving advice, or keep going on with what seems like it’s becoming a game? --- DOESN’T MATTER IF DAD KNOWS BEST

DEAR DOESN’T MATTER IF DAD KNOWS BEST: Maybe your daughter and son-in-law are just products of the times. You and your son-in-law’s dad have become two more resources which they can consult, then continue to collect lots of other opinions and data on-line and elsewhere, and go from there.

I don’t think either of you should take it personally. At least your daughter and son-in-law are consulting you, and that helps keep you all connected.

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