Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Son's Relationship with Older Woman Worries Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son met a woman who started working as a cashier at the pharmacy where he’s an assistant manager. She is the divorced mother of two tweens, and my son just turned 23. He has been in two longer-term relationships, and both of his former girlfriends ended things after over a year together. I think if that hadn’t been the case, he would have been married by now.

I have met his new girlfriend and she seems like a nice person. I also feel my son is a good judge of character. But I worry about him stepping into a ready-made family, with kids not that much younger than he is. There is also the ex-husband, who from what he’s heard, is still very involved in his kids’ lives.

I think it’s a lot for my son to take on, and often wonder if I should say something to him about my feelings. It would not be about his girlfriend, but just her situation in life versus his. Or, do I continue keeping my worries to myself? --- MOM ON THE FENCE

DEAR MOM ON THE FENCE: You state that your son’s a good judge of character. That and the fact that at a fairly young age he’s been put in a management role, albeit a junior one, suggest to me he may be more mature than many of his peers.

Even if you had less reason to have faith in your son’s judgement, I’m not sure anything would be gained by sharing your concerns with him about his new relationship. Time will tell if this one’s a keeper, and it’s ultimately up to him and his new girlfriend to decide if they can make it work, especially with her children as part of the picture.

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