DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend went to be with her parents, a five-hour drive away, when the pandemic started last year. It was just supposed to be a temporary situation, but last week she told me she is strongly thinking of staying there and has already started looking for jobs and an apartment.
I am not in a position to relocate, and it is coming as a hurtful surprise that she did not seem to take me into account when she made her decision. I sort of blame her parents, who were never happy their little girl was living with someone they did not especially love themselves.
I can’t help but take this all personally, but should I? --- LEFT BEHIND
DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Whether disapproving parents were a factor or not, there may be many valid considerations your girlfriend’s taking into account while making her decision. Perhaps, although you feel you were blindsided, there were clues that she was leaning in this direction that you missed, especially if the end result was that she was going to make the move permanent.
Painful as the new development is, taking it personally will only harm you. If she decides to stay where she is, it might prove a lot healthier overall to chalk it up to life in an extraordinary time. A lot of people have ended up in completely different circumstances than they thought they’d be in this time last year.
Need advice? Please send your questions to Someone Else’s Mom at AskSomeoneElsesMom@gmail.com.