Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Husband Doesn't Want to Abandon City Living

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Both my husband and I grew up in the suburbs. We met in the city where we currently live, where he works, and where I also was working before we had our son. I was able to convert to parttime work-from-home, but my husband is still working in the center of the city, only a 20-minute bike ride away.

Now that our son is nearing preschool age, and our second baby is due toward the end of this year, I think it’s time to move out of our cramped two-bedroom townhouse into a larger home with a front and backyard and the potential for the lifestyle my husband and I both knew as kids.

Every time I bring up my wish to move, my husband counters with not wanting to have to commute, which I completely understand. He’s an awesome dad and loves spending time with us at the end of the day. But the facts of the matter are our home is no longer big enough, and we absolutely cannot afford a larger home near city center. The only neighborhoods with yards within the city limits, and only a tiny commute for my husband, are all even more out of our price range.

Is my husband being unreasonable, or am I? --- WANT OUT OF CITY LIVING

DEAR WANT OUT OF CITY LIVING: I see a lot of merit in both your and your husband’s standpoints.

If your real estate explorations so far have all been made on your own, it might be time to connect with a licensed real estate professional. It’s possible there are options you’re unaware of that could offer a compromise you both could live with.

As with any compromise though, it’s likely neither of you will be perfectly satisfied. However, a growing family has already forced, and will only continue to force you both to evaluate and reevaluate priorities. I think it’s best to be open and honest with each other when you discuss options and wishes. Always consider first and foremost what’s best for the family in general, even if it isn’t the ideal solution for everyone involved.

Need advice? Please send your questions to Someone Else’s Mom at