Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Who Gets Cat Custody in Split?

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend and I lived together for over three years. When we moved in, we each had a cat, and during our time together, we first fostered and then adopted two more cats.

Now that we’ve split, we continue to fight over who gets the cats. We each kept our original cat, but now the two adopted ones are being fought over.

I think since they are siblings they should be kept together. He thinks we should each get one, which I think would be cruel.

I am willing to take both the brother and sister to keep them together, which seems to me to say I am more committed to their happiness than he is.

Don’t you think that’s the right thing to do? --- ANXIOUS CAT PAPA

DEAR ANXIOUS CAT PAPA: I agree with you that keeping the siblings together is a good idea if they’re clearly a team. Perhaps you and your ex could work out a joint custody arrangement, where you each get to have the adopted set live with you for a set period of time.

To get a better idea if such a custody share is in the best interest of the cats, if it’s even on the table, I strongly recommend your consulting with your veterinarian to get some professional feedback on what might be best for the two adopted siblings, especially since if they were fostered, they may have already been through multiple upheavals.

Need advice? Please send your questions to Someone Else’s Mom at AskSomeoneElsesMom@gmail.com.