DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I feel so bad about accidentally letting a secret out to my husband. My sister-in-law and her husband just found out they are going to have a baby, and they wanted to make a grand announcement in a few weeks. They only told me because they wanted to have me help with the announcement, since I do some writing for work and my personal pleasure. My husband came into the room and saw I was playing around with the words “Now Expecting” and he thought I was trying to tell him something about me. I honestly didn’t even think about it, since I was so involved in what I was doing, when I answered, “Of course not. It’s for Sophie.”
I’d like to trust that my husband will honor my request for him to keep the secret to himself, but we’ve already had an argument about how pissed his mom will be when she finds out that I knew before she did.
Do I fess-up and tell my sister-in-law that I slipped, or just let it go, since we’re now getting closer to the official announcement anyway? --- ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED THE BEANS
DEAR ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED THE BEANS: I think a key consideration here is if your husband will honor your sister-in-law’s wishes to let the parents-to-be make the decision about how and when to announce their pregnancy. It isn’t his news to share, and hopefully he understands that.
Let’s say he keeps the secret to himself, whether or not you tell your sister-in-law about your slipup may have more to do with her personality than your need to clear your conscience. I’d weigh the damage done against what would be gained by a confession. If your sister-in-law’s the forgiving type, there may be no harm in letting her know, if she’s not, you might just unnecessarily stir up a hornet’s nest and in either case, lose her confidence in your discretion.