Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Valentine's Day Ultimatum

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend has been wanting to take me away for a special weekend for a long time now. I couldn’t get off work for Valentine’s weekend last year when he first wanted to go somewhere, and this year I am not comfortable traveling for safety reasons, but also especially since if my boss finds out, I’ll have to miss two weeks at work for self-quarantine, because my company follows our state’s COVID-19 recommendations.

My boyfriend thinks I am being a big baby, since he says so long as we are careful, keep our masks on and social distance when not in our hotel room, we should be fine. He also thinks I shouldn’t report leaving the state to my company, which if they find out I kept it a secret, could cost me my job or at least my good standing.

He says that if I love him, I’ll take a chance, and he has more than hinted that if I am not willing to risk this for him, I must not love him enough to be with him, and he sees no reason we shouldn’t breakup.

Am I wrong to stick to my request we postpone the big weekend getaway until it’s safer to do it? --- TOO MUCH TO RISK

DEAR TOO MUCH TO RISK: A lot of life has had to be postponed these days, as your boyfriend must be aware. I think he’s the one being selfish in this case, and you can easily turn the tables on his thinking by saying if he truly loves you, he’d respect your not feeling good about this particular getaway at this particular time.

I believe you’re right to follow what you know and feel to be the correct thing to do. Besides, I can’t imagine you’d have a very good time if you spent the days away worrying about potential consequences of the trip for both your health and your job.

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