Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Mom Shows Signs of Jealousy Over New Woman in Son's Life

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since I started seeing my new girlfriend my mom’s been acting weird toward me and her. At first, she said my girlfriend is “trashy” because she has a “trashy” name. I don’t even know what that means, and she can’t or won’t explain it. She has never been like this with the other women I’ve been with.

Everything my girlfriend does is wrong, but all she’s tried to do is make my mother like her, even a little bit. That only makes my mother even worse, saying my girlfriend is just sucking up to her to impress me.

None of this could be further from the truth. My girlfriend comes from a strict, very conservative family, the kind my mother would usually call a “good family”. She has a better job than I do, and is kind, respectful, and works hard.

What can I do to convince my mother she’s all wrong here? --- CAN’T PLEASE MY MOTHER

DEAR CAN’T PLEASE MY MOTHER: Maybe your mother is threatened by the new woman in your life because, unlike before, she sees something in this new relationship that’s got her thinking her little boy’s found a keeper, and Mom may not be ready to give you up just yet.

My advice would be to limit the time your mother and girlfriend are around each other for now. That way you can focus on your new relationship and what direction it’s taking. If things get serious enough with the two of you, you can worry about what’s next with Mom. Perhaps by then, she’ll at least be used to your girlfriend, if not completely accepting of her.

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