Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Mother Is Miffed at Daughter's Decision to Change Her Name

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’m a proud Boomer who worked hard to establish myself in my field, being one of the first women at the company I helped build up from nearly the beginning. I’m still one of the only women partners, and I do whatever I can to bring young women onboard.

It truly irks me that my daughter is taking her husband’s name rather than keep her own, as I did when I married her father 33 years ago. It feels like a backslide. Am I wrong to be this upset? --- WOULDN’T GIVE UP MY NAME FOR ANY MAN

DEAR WOULDN’T GIVE UP MY NAME FOR ANY MAN: As I see it, your daughter has just as much right to change her name as you did to keep yours. Both are conscious decisions, and your respective prerogatives.

Some women split the difference and hyphenate their and their spouses’ surnames. Others keep their maiden name for professional purposes and adopt their spouse’s for their personal lives. I knew a female physician who went that route over 70 years ago, and it worked well for her.

Your daughter has chosen the most traditional option, and she deserves to be respected for her choice.

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