Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Second Wife Tires of Comparisons to Predecessor

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I have only been married less than a year. He was married before, to his high school sweetheart, but after she dumped him for a coworker, he was pretty busted up. We met two years after the divorce was final, and he moved into my place while we were engaged.

I think I’m a pretty neat and organized person, but I always get the feeling that I’m never neat or organized enough for my husband. If I do something differently from the way his ex did, he finds a way to slip it in his comments to me, and it makes me feel like I never do anything right. Do you agree that he should let me do things my way, and not her way? --- DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED

DEAR DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED: It sounds as if your husband may not be completely over his first wife. If you haven’t already spoken to him about his habit of comparing you to her, then you need to as soon as you can. It’s up to you to remind him she’s no longer the one he’s married to, and you’re the one sharing a home with him — especially since it was your home first.

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