Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Tensions Stir Over Wedding Seating Chart

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am getting married in February and already my mother and my future mother-in-law are stressing me out over some of the wedding arrangements. So far, they’ve agreed on much of the big things, but I know my fiancé’s mother has been pushing for things to be more formal than my mother is. My mother, fiancé, and I are good with open seating at the reception, so people can sit with the people they want to sit with. Doesn’t it make sense that if you’re going to go less formal, open seating is the way to go?

Every time the subject comes up, my future mother-in-law makes a big deal about this one thing, and my mother has said if I don’t shut it down, she will. Not how I want things to go. --- MORE CASUAL BRIDE

DEAR MORE CASUAL BRIDE: Planning a wedding is often first and foremost an exercise in diplomacy, as it seems you’re learning. However, it’s your wedding and if you and your fiancé agree on the overall tone of the day, then follow that plan. Since the friction seems to be brewing with the women, maybe it’s time for the groom to step-up and privately, and gently, speak with his mother about his and your vision for the day.

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