Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

When Is It Time to Tell New Guy About Past Sexual Assault?

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been dating “Greg” for nearly a year and we share mostly everything about our pasts. But I have not been able to bring myself to tell him about how I was sexually assaulted at a family reunion the summer before I graduated high school. I have been in therapy and I am doing better with how I deal with it, but I just can’t tell how Greg would handle knowing his girlfriend had been raped. How soon would be too soon, or too late? --- AFRAID TO TELL

DEAR AFRAID TO TELL: There’s no quick and easy answer for how or when to open up a particularly painful part of your life to someone, no matter how well you know them.

If this is looking like a truly committed relationship, there will come a point when the revelation should be made, especially if it’s part of your healing.

Consulting with your therapist should help, since your provider knows your particular story and, hopefully, also some suggestions of what’s worked for others in your situation.

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