Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Siblings Upset Over Sister's Choice to Go the Sperm Donation Route

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our oldest sister has chosen to get pregnant by way of sperm donation. She says she carefully screened the potential donors and has tried to match our family’s traits and background as much as possible so her baby will fit in with our family.

That the kid might not look like the rest of us isn’t my concern. What my brother, our other sister and I just don’t get is why anyone would opt to be a single parent on purpose. She has seen some of her friends go through breakups and divorces after only a couple years of marriage, and in some cases there are kids involved. She must see how hard it is to be a single parent and whenever we try to tell her this, she shuts us down. Are we right to be worried? --- WORRIED SIBS

DEAR WORRIED SIBS: I appreciate your concern for your sister, but you’ve shared your reservations with her, and if she’s committed to her plan for parenthood, there’s nothing more you can do except support her and your niece and nephew just as you would if she were married, in a committed relationship, or suddenly single. You already know single parenting isn’t easy, so being there for her can be a huge help.

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