Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Workaholic Wife Leaves Husband Cold

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve known my wife since before we graduated college three years ago. She was a totally dedicated student and did really well in school. Now she’s a legal assistant, she’s becoming a workaholic, and we have less and less time together. I work a fairly 9-5, Monday-Friday job, and at the end of it, I want to have some time with my wife, but she’s always late at the office and often going in on at least one day of the weekend.

When we talk about how I feel, she says this is what her job is about, and it’s something I’ll just have to get used to.

Am I being selfish? I want to support her career, but I worry it’ll advance at the cost of our marriage. --- MY WIFE IS A WORKAHOLIC

DEAR MY WIFE IS A WORKAHOLIC: The legal profession is certainly a demanding one. Your wife will need your support and understanding if she’s going to succeed in it.

It would help you to develop enough interests of your own to help fill your leisure time when your wife is at the office.

At this point, it seems likely that it’ll also fall to you to make the couple-time plans, as you continue reminding her how important it is to your marriage to have time together ─ not just when she comes home exhausted after a six-day workweek.

While you don’t want to sound whiney and needy, you have to help her understand it takes two to make a marriage work.

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