Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Postpartum Body Turns Husband Off

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Since I had our second baby last fall, I haven’t been able to lose the “baby fat” I gained during the pregnancy, like I did with our son. I’ve talked to my doctor about it and she wants to run some tests to make sure everything, like my thyroid, is okay.

I’m not loving my body, but the bigger problem is, neither is my husband. He hasn’t made a move in months now, and it hurts to think it’s because of my extra weight. I don’t want him to think I’m just imagining it, because I know I’m not. Do I say something now or wait to see what the medical tests show? --- MISS MY BODY

DEAR MISS MY BODY: It’s good you’re getting medical advice on why this postpartum recovery is so different than what you experienced with your first baby. Each pregnancy takes a toll on a woman’s body, and now that you have two children to care for, taking care of yourself becomes even more challenging.

By all means, talk to your husband about what you’re feeling. It’s possible his lack of sexual attentions may also be the result of a more demanding family life, or the problem could be completely unrelated to what you think is causing it, and he doesn’t want to add to your stress right now.

Need advice? Please send your questions to Someone Else’s Mom at