Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

When's the Right Time to Ask a Widow Out?

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There is a woman on my bowling team, not much older than me, who lost her husband just over a year ago. They got married right out of college, and after a couple of years, he went into a deep depression and ended up killing himself. I wasn’t on the team when all this happened, but I’ve heard the story from the other people we bowl with.

I really like this woman, but am nervous about making any moves. It’s only been a year since she went through all that, and I don’t want to blow any chance I might have with her by asking her out too soon. Is it too soon? --- WORRIED ABOUT TIMING

DEAR WORRIED ABOUT TIMING: Losing a spouse is one of life’s biggest traumas, no matter when it happens, losing any loved one to suicide is a particularly cruel blow.

If you’re not aware of the woman’s being at all inclined to start dating again, I wouldn’t push the issue. She may be more in need of friends than romantic relationships while she deals with her grief.

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