DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I enjoy going out with “Sara”. She’s one of my oldest friends and we get together a couple times a month. I always suggest a place to meet and eat, or a movie to go to, or a party I’ve heard about, but she always tells me she’d rather do something else she already had planned.
In some ways I don’t mind, but once in a while it would be nice to do something I suggest. Is that being selfish? --- NEVER GET TO PICK
DEAR NEVER GET TO PICK: Wanting to have your turn in planning activities with a friend isn’t selfish. It sounds like “Sara” may be someone who prefers to be in control; but compromise is key to a successful relationship.
You need to be more assertive and make what you said above clear to her. When your next get-together rolls around, tell her you’ve already made reservations, and that she gets to pick next time.
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