Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

At Odds with Churchgoing Mom

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom is super into her church. Whenever I’m at home on a Sunday she insists I go with her to the service. The church’s whole message is one I can’t get into anymore and I feel like I have better things to do on a Sunday morning, especially since I don’t get home all that often.

What can I do to not get into a big battle with my mom every time I want to take a pass on service? --- NOT A CHURCHGOER

DEAR NOT: It’s an absolutely natural part of growing up to question the faith of our fathers – and mothers. But remember it is their faith, and they’re as entitled to it as you are to make your own spiritual way – or not.

My guess is your mother wants you to get some of the same positive experiences she’s had as a member of faith community. And, since you say you don’t get home a lot, having you with her at church may be one way Mom can spend more of these precious visits with you, without foregoing her regular Sunday routine.

To avoid further conflict, before you even arrive on your next visit home, give your mother the heads-up what your plans are for Sunday morning. Let her know you appreciate her wanting to share this aspect of her life with you, but that you’ve moved in another direction, and while you’re willing to go to church with her on occasion, she shouldn’t expect it to happen each time you’re in town.

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