Ask Someone Else's Mom

Does He Follow Her to New Job?

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend has just been told she is being transferred to her company’s Chicago office from their LA headquarters. We’ve been dating for a while now, and have sometimes talked about getting married down the road, but I’m not sure I’m far enough down the road to make that leap yet. She asked if I would consider moving with her, and I haven’t been able to answer. Is that a sign she’s not really “the one”? --- NOT SURE I WANT TO MOVE

DEAR NOT SURE: Moving is a complicated proposition under the best of circumstances, and you’re also looking at it as a litmus test of the strength of your feelings. Your hesitance is understandable, and if you’re not comfortable committing to either your own relocation or giving the long-distance relationship route a try ─ at least until you decide if you’re ready to follow her ─ then the third option is breaking up. If door number three looks like the worst choice, because being without her is something you’re not willing to do, then maybe it’s time to commit to one of the other two options, either of which has plenty of potential risks, but also the chance of big rewards.

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