Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Holiday Split Wears Thin

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every year around this time my husband and I start stressing over how we are going to spend the holidays. His parents live about two hours from mine. Depending on which route we take, we can be at either of their houses in five hours by car from where we live now.

When it was just the two of us it wasn’t a big deal to split visits, but this year we have a baby and another on the way and I just can’t imagine dragging everyone through the usual holiday split of Christmas Eve at one house, Christmas Day at the other, battling traffic in all directions, and worrying about potential bad weather. It was tough enough with an infant last year, but this year I just don’t want to go through it all. Any suggestions in how to handle the holiday visits? --- HOLIDAY WARRIOR

DEAR WARRIOR: Unless you’re absolutely set on travelling back to see your folks for the holidays, it seems to me you have pretty good reasons for not doing the trek this year. You could make your intention to stay home clear right now, while your folks have enough time to weigh their options. If they’re willing to travel your way, and you’re willing to either host them or help them find a hotel nearby, consider extending an invitation to spend the holidays with you. If that isn’t a viable plan, propose a visit home in the near future, just not during the already stressful holidays.

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