Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

Mom Thinks It’s Time to Move On

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I retired late last year, and my husband will be retiring early next year. We have been house-hunting near good friends of ours in South Carolina. We can’t afford two houses and will have to sell our current home in Upstate New York before making the move.

We’re excited to be looking at a fresh start, but our adult son, who teaches in a small private school, still lives with us. He pays us rent, but it isn’t nearly what living on his own in our area would cost. He has no intention of moving with us and he can’t afford to buy our house or even pay enough rent to cover the taxes, utilities, and remaining mortgage expenses. Any suggestions on how to not feel guilty about kicking our own son out? --- READY TO MOVE MOM

DEAR READY TO MOVE: Your moving could be one of the best things to happen to your son. Everyone has to strike out on their own at some point in their life if they’re ever going to grow up.

Give your son a deadline for finding a new place to live well in advance of putting your home on the market. If it makes you feel better, help him with the apartment-hunting process. If he doesn’t have any buddies looking to share a place, there are several legitimate roommate finding services on-line for him to explore. Just make sure he does his research and carefully checks out both the sites and the potential roommates before committing to anything. But the sooner he gets started, the better. Your guilt should be greatly reduced knowing he’s hopefully found a decent place to land.

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