DEAR NATALIE: I have a dilemma with my boyfriend. He is a great guy but just really unreliable. We will make plans, and he will show up 20 to 30 minutes late and not even apologize. He is perpetually late for family dinners, work events, etc. We have been together almost a year, and while the time we have together is wonderful, it's frustrating that he acts as though my time isn't valuable. I'm not sure how to address this situation without upsetting him. We never fight and I don't want to start rocking the boat. -- TIRED OF WAITING
DEAR TIRED OF WAITING: News flash: If you don't "fight" once in a while, it's probably not a really great relationship. We grow closer to each other by working through differences and sorting out solutions to problems. If you never have worked through anything, your relationship is probably pretty superficial -- especially after a year.
The fact that he doesn't seem to care about your time indicates maybe he doesn't respect you. It's really easy to pick up a cell phone and text, "Hey, running late, be there in 15, sorry! XO." I typed that in 15 seconds. If he doesn't think you are worth 15 seconds, of course he doesn't care about leaving you hanging for more than 15 minutes. Sit down with him and tell him this bothers you. Rock that boat. Make some waves and figure out how to solve this problem. Some people are perpetually late. If that's not a deal breaker, cool. But perpetually rude? Now that's game over.
Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212
(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)