Ask Natalie by Natalie Bencivenga

Dating ‘Good on Paper’ Guy?

DEAR NATALIE: I am dating "good on paper guy." He's sweet, romantic, has a good career future and respects me. The only catch -- I'm just not enamored with him. I'm not crazy over the moon about him. My friends tell me that I'm a hopeless romantic and that he is a good fit for me. I don't deny it. But is it wrong to want more? -- Pushing30

DEAR PUSHING30: Let's be real. Relationships, even when they are good, are really hard. They are hard because we are in a society that is obsessed with the BBD (Bigger Better Deal) in all aspects of life, including our romantic partners. I'm all for people cultivating the relationship in front of them instead of looking to their next conquest, but in this case? You aren't doing yourself or him any favors by stringing him along if you don't feel it in your bones that he is a good fit for you. Chemistry matters. Without that dizzy love feeling, you are friends and nothing more. I'm not saying romance doesn't ebb and flow over time, but if it isn't there to begin with you are only setting yourselves up for heartache and failure. Gently cut him loose and move on. Thirty is too old to play around with someone's heart. So, give him the opportunity to find the love of his life while you continue the search for someone you could flip over the moon for. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Be a conversationalist. Networking is about building rapport, not dominating a conversation. Talk about your interests and likes, but always end your thoughts with a question to toss the conversation back to them. This keeps you engaged in a dialogue and not just interested in hearing yourself talk. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)