08/18/1999

SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER


Columbine Grooms a New Generation of Killers

NEW YORK -- The SATs may be above average, but Columbine High School has failed basic comprehension.

Early warning signs of militant stupidity were there in June, when Littleton, Colo., officials were considering memorials to the shooting victims. No one in a community of so-called Christians thought that the two shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, ought to be included in plans for 13 marble angels or 13 crosses. Then, on Aug. 16, the site of one of the worst massacres in recent memory opened its doors to its 2,000 students with, of all things, a pep rally.

Massacre recap: On April 20, Harris and Klebold, bullied repeatedly by football players in a lily-white suburban school that worshipped jocks and sanctioned the systemic ridicule of the slightest forms of nonconformity, lost their minds and shot up a bunch of their classmates before killing themselves. By most accounts the killers saved their bullets for bullies while telling other kids to leave before they got hurt.

So here we are, not even four months later, and the dim-witted administration of Columbine High School and their coterie of moronic parents are cheering wildly to all the accoutrements of jock culture. Cheerleaders waved pompoms from the first few rows of an outdoor pep rally filled with parents and students wearing identical "We Are ... Columbine" T-shirts. Parents formed a "human shield" to protect their kids from the media, which must have seriously bummed the scores of students who still have Dan Rather's cell phone number. Student body president Mike Sheehan provided evidence that annoying personality traits are fixed early in the process of human development: "It's so great to look out and see so many of you here today and to take back our school." What is this, a Take Back the Night rally?


advertisement


Thank God for that three-day waiting period.

It's precisely this kind of pressure to conform that led to last spring's massacre, but that didn't stop the school's football coach from telling CNN that jocks (he calls them "athletes") are oppressed by kids who don't dress properly.

Once the Nuremberg-style rally was over, students entered a building that has been carefully sanitized of its physical and psychic stains. The bullet holes have been plastered up, the bloodstains have been painted over and the library, the main killing site, has been sealed off by a fresh wall of lockers, its bloodied books burned.

"We want students to feel good about being back here," says Jack Swanzy, director of planning for the Jefferson County School District. "If students can walk down these halls and not cringe, we feel we've been very successful."

A little cringing never killed anybody. While keeping the school in disarray would have been pointless, leaving a few bullet holes or bloodstains behind (perhaps with an explanatory plaque) might have served as a cautionary tale for future bullies and their victims. But we live in ahistorical America, where no one will blink at mounting a trophy cabinet to house the reliquaries of jockdom on walls where teen-agers have died.

Those who claim that their faith is your business spent the night before The Return at a special back-to-school evangelistic rally (there's that jock thing again!) for 3,000 loud believers at an amphitheater near the school/crime scene. Speaker Bart Campolo of Philadelphia said: "You'd better believe that good overcomes evil or I don't know how you can go back to school."

Massacre recap deux: Harris, 18, and Klebold, 17, were not the living incarnations of Ba'al, the Antichrist, Mephistopheles or his Southern sobriquet, Old Scratch. They were kids -- confused, angry, shortsighted, dumb kids. And their 13 victims were not the living embodiment of innocence. They were kids, too, with all the good and bad that that entails.

Hours after the self-congratulatory pep rally, three swastikas appeared, scrawled in the school's bathrooms. "It hurt," parent Tammy Theus said. "The rally was great. They've made changes in the dress code, like not allowing trench coats. Then I see this. It's like they are laughing in our faces, 'Ha, ha, school's back in session and so are we.'" Perhaps. Or the graffiti could be a protest against a school in denial about itself, a community incapable of admitting that its core values are corrupt, hollow and hypocritical -- in the simplistic parlance of the adolescent, fascist.

Meanwhile, a state panel has been convened to help law enforcement agencies coordinate their responses to future Columbine-like tragedies in the Denver area more effectively. Based on reports from Littleton, they'll be needed sooner rather than later.

(Ted Rall, a cartoonist and columnist for Universal Press Syndicate, is author of "Revenge of the Latchkey Kids.")






 
Comics:  www.gocomics.com, www.garfield.com
www.doonesbury.com
Puzzles
and Games: 
www.thepuzzlesociety.com
www.infinitecrosswords.com
Columnists:  www.uexpress.com, www.dearabby.com
www.newsoftheweird.com
 

© 2009 UCLICK, LLC
An Andrews McMeel Universal company. All Rights Reserved.

terms of use - privacy policy - copyrights - contact us - advertise