DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I just got into a huge argument about something very stupid. I am in a different state, where I just started a new job. I don’t know very many people here, so when I was asked by a female co-worker to go to a basketball game with a group a people, I jumped at the opportunity. I told my girlfriend that I was invited and that the group was mostly women. She totally flipped out on me, and said it was rude of me to be going to an event with mainly women.
I do not know how to handle this because I thought she would see that I want to try and make new friends here, and if it happens to be by going to a basketball game with female co-workers, then why does it come off as rude? -- Am I In the Wrong?, Jackson, Mississippi
DEAR AM I IN THE WRONG?: Dating long-distance is often difficult. What is required is that you trust each other to make smart decisions. This includes who you spend time with. Going to a game with a group of female co-workers should not be an issue, in theory. To quiet this storm, apologize for being insensitive -- in her mind. Assure her that your co-workers are nice and not trying to make a move on you. Ask your girlfriend to trust you. Keep talking about your lives and choices. Time will tell if you can manage the distance.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)