DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday is coming up, and I am torn about what I should do. My friends from college want me to come back and celebrate with them, my boyfriend wants me to visit him for the weekend and my friends from home want me to stay at home so I can celebrate with them. Ideally, I would love to see all of these people on my birthday or that weekend, but I know how unrealistic that is. Is there any way I could make a decision that hurts the fewest number of people? I’m not sure what I want to do, so any advice on how I should weigh the pros and cons of each situation would be much appreciated! -- Birthday Plan Problems, Sarasota, Florida
DEAR BIRTHDAY PLAN PROBLEMS: Sit back and think about what you would most like to do for your birthday -- and with whom. Next, analyze if it’s possible for any of your friends to come together so that you can be with some or all of them. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him your dilemma and your desire to celebrate with everyone. Ask him to come to wherever you will be.
If not everyone can travel to be together, choose where you want to go for your birthday, and tell the others that you will make a plan to see them in the near future. Do not discuss every detail with all of your friends, as that will get them too involved and lead to unmanaged expectations.