DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a social club that hosts monthly gatherings for all its members. We rotate who will host each meeting, and it’s a lot of fun. A couple of the members are well-off, and they have been competing with each other for who can make the fanciest affair. I think it has gotten out of hand. If one hosts at a four-star restaurant, the other hires an in-house chef to prepare a six-course meal. What used to be girlfriends getting together to enjoy each other’s company has turned into a reality show.
I don’t like it anymore. I’ve been thinking about leaving the group, but I feel bad that two women could spoil it for all of us. Do I dare say anything to the rest of the group? I want the shenanigans to stop. -- Back to Normal, Glen Cove, New York
DEAR BACK TO NORMAL: Call a meeting of your club’s leadership and express your concerns. Explain that you think it’s important for the camaraderie to come before the pageantry. Find out if others share your view. Ask if you can bring your concerns to the whole group. Be thoughtful and strategic. Point out that what started out as fun competition seems to have turned into something unhealthy for the group. Ask everyone if they would like to go back to simpler activities. Be sure to include the two reality stars in your decision-making. They may not realize how far out of hand they have gotten.