DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother got himself in trouble with the law, and now has to spend a few months in jail. I still obviously love and support him. He asked if the whole family would be visiting him in jail when he is locked up, but I don't want to bring my children to a prison to see their uncle. I don't want to lie to my brother, but I also don't want him going into prison with a bleak outlook on the next few months. Should I tell him the truth or a white lie? -- Behind Bars, Cincinnati
DEAR BEHIND BARS: The best thing you can do is be honest with your brother so that you can manage his expectations. If you intend to visit him, start with that good news. Do not overpromise. Tell him that you will come and give him some sense of your anticipated frequency of visiting. Keep in mind that he will be there a short time. If you do not intend to bring your children, tell him. Point out that you are sorry he got himself in this trouble, but you do not want to expose your children to jail, so you will not be bringing them to visit.